a heart set on pilgrimage

Seasons Of Life

February 2, 2010 in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

My annual devotional this year is Experiencing God By Henry Blackaby. As I mentioned a few posts back I wanted to be more consistent this year. I’m not 100%, but I’m doing better than 0%. Since I woke up too late to read this morning, I pulled the daily reading up on the books’ website during a quick break at work. I thought it was really good, so I’m going post it here. Enjoy!

Life’s Seasons

To everything there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven. (Ecclesiastes 3:1)

The beauty in the way God designed the four seasons is that, though each one is distinct, they all work together to bring life and growth. Spring is a period of freshness and new life. Summer sees growth and productivity. Autumn is a time for harvesting the rewards of past labors. Winter is the season of dormancy and closure. Each season has its own unique beauty and makes a significant contribution to life.

Just as God planned seasons in nature, He planned seasons in life as well. Life has its springtime, when we begin new things and look excitedly toward the future. Summer comes and we work diligently in the heat of the day at all that God has assigned to us. With autumn comes the fruition of things begun at an earlier time in our lives. Winter brings an end to a particular period in our lives. Sometimes winter brings hardship, but we remain hopeful, for another spring is just around the corner!

In God’s perfect design for our lives, He has planned for times of fruitfulness and activity. He will also build in times of quiet and rest. There will be times when He asks us to remain faithful doing the same work day after day. But there will also be periods of excitement and new beginnings. By God’s grace, we will enjoy seasons of harvesting the fruit of our faithfulness. By God’s grace we will also overcome the cold winters of heartache and grief, for without winter there would be no spring. Just as it is with the seasons of nature, these seasons in our lives work together to bring about God’s perfect will for each one of us.

Father, I do not know exactly where I stand today…I’m inclined to say winter.
Please open my eyes to your purposes and your hand, despite all that has kept me down.
Lord, place in me a new song…
and bring about a newness and freshness…joy.
Abba, take my hand and guide me…please wash away my fears and help me to trust in you.

fear

January 23, 2010 in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Do you find it funny
to anticipate a day
for years, to anticipate a day
only to welcome its arrival
and find fear
where none stood before.
All I ever wanted was freedom
and love.
And on that day I met fear.
A fear that has blocked it all:
freedom,
love,
and the progress of time
forever.

A Change Is Coming My Way

January 21, 2010 in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

So, we’re about 1 year into our church plant…and about 6 months into being an “open” church.

we have grown tremendously…we probably have 50 people or so…maybe more (honestly, I never count…I really don’t care about the numbers and I’m a bad estimator).

We have 3 official communities and 1 community that meets with one of the 3 during our community week, but together (as their own community) is serving a specific pocket of people and need in the city. it’s pretty sweet.

I no longer know everyone I go to church with…but that’s more because of the new people coming in and the structure of the college aged community that I was part of.

This week, however, will be different. After a talk with my pastor, about 2 months of praying, and another discussion with the pastor I decided to change communities. I’m welcoming the change…

What this means for me:

1. I’m back with all the families and babies again.

2. There is at least 1 week out of the month where I can’t easily “walk” to church (though I may still attempt the walk if weather permits).

3. I’ll be in a new large group of people where I probably don’t know most people…once again.

4. I will no longer be one of the oldest people in my community, not counting all the children, I will probably be one of the youngest people.

5. It’s a new year, a new community…this change will, Lord willing, bring some welcome changes into my walk with God (I like to change things up sometime…and when I feel “stuck” in my walk…a change can often help jump start things)

A Little Spoon Waiting For A Big Spoon

January 17, 2010 in Christianity, Dating & Relationships, relationships, singleness | Tags: christ, christian, dating, desire, facebook status, loneliness, longing, single, spoons | Leave a comment

I want to write, but the only thing on my mind is the relationship status I have posted on my Facebook: “Single”.

This past week I went to Reno for a company meeting. On the first night there we had a welcome reception. Everyone and their spouses attended for appetizers, drinks, and socializing. I ran into a plant manager that I worked for a few years ago. He introduced me to his wife and then asked if I brought anyone with me. No, I didn’t. Do I ever?

A few weeks ago a friend made a passing comment about how content I was and how at peace I seemed when it came to relationships. Perhaps I am content at times, but inwardly I rollercoaster over the reality of my singleness. There are days and times when do feel at peace reflecting on my lack of romantic relationships. Empowered, even. There are other days, however, when I find myself frustrated, confused, filled with longing and desire. If I’m honest I can confess those days where I scope out every guy in a room, assessing potential. Yup, some days I’m that girl – the ones the authors of Christian dating books warn against and tell you to never become. Yup, that’s me, probably all of us at some time or another.

I’m surrounded by other singles who I know have longing. I hear it in conversations, I see it in actions taken with the wrong guys/girls. I have longing too, you know. I hurt too. I want them to know that I’m not a superwoman who has it all together. I’m in the same boat…part of me hurts for all of us sitting at the single table.

I recently prayed with a friend who is probably walking into the beginning of the end of a relationship with the wrong kind of guy. She sincerely hurts, and as we prayed I also got choked up thinking about the turmoil in her. She spoke about how she doesn’t want to miss out on what God might do in this guy’s life…you know, to turn him around. I later told her that it was okay (and normal) to acknowledge her hurt over the idea that the end of this relationship is, once again, the beginning of singleness. Singleness - that time in life when you just don’t know who or what God has on the way…or if that person even exists.

I recently read that God will sometimes allow revival or spiritual highs to help give strength to get through those times we spend walking in the valley of everyday life. Maybe that idea can also be applied to our walks as single people. We all will experience moments of strength where we completely embrace our single life. We experience freedom from the paralyzing, unmet desires of our hearts…and it’s great! But perhaps, more often than not, we find ourselves in the valley of longing and desire. As we may spend much more of our time there, remember the heights to which we’ve been and meditate on them as we walk through (not around or above or below…but THROUGH) those valleys of longing and desire. Those memories mark divine moments in our walks with God…when we focus and reflect upon them we are by default also focusing and reflecting on Him and what He’s done. Bringing that perspective into the forefront of our minds will help to refocus our attention away from the circumstances of today (walking in a valley of loneliness) and back on to God. I know we will begin to see glimpses of Him and His presence with us in that valley…and that should offer the strength and ability we need to walk on in a way that is still glorifying to Him.

I thinks its naïve to expect those longings and desires to never awaken. I that eventually we will all walk through a valley or two (it may be singleness, or a job, or illness, or whatever). It’s not whether we hit that valley that matters…it’s how we journey through it – the decisions we make, the actions and responses we have, and the focus of our minds; that’s what really matters.

I’m walking in that valley today. Walking strong…stumbling along…regardless I’m continually being held up (or picked up) by God. For that I am ever grateful.

A Road Revisited

January 4, 2010 in Jesus, Poetry | Tags: Poetry, road less traveled, roads, robert frost | Leave a comment

I wonder if Robert felt as torn staring down those roads -
The two that called with equal weight.
I wonder if he cried over the one left behind
The one denied.
A decision made in 20 lines
Couldn’t have the same gravity
That calls me back to mine.

A Tattered photograph, kept in a bag
Two beautiful and dusty roads, one of them denied.
I look upon it and cry
As I pray and dream
Wishing everything were different.

What seems like an instant response
Was a promise to God -
Rehearsed for a year, in fact.
Giving me the words once I heard your words -
The road in my photograph.
I look upon it and cry-
How I wanted to hear those words
And still want those words.
I collect leaves and flowers
Simple reminders kept in a bag
Keeping some hope alive.
As I walk farther down this path
I still pray.

There, somewhere between my dreams and wishes
Your words would draw my attention
Up ahead the two roads narrow down to one
Beautiful and dusty, my longing is filled
those old reminders are needed no more.

A new photograph, kept in a bag-
Two roads diverged ‘n brought back together.
Nothing would be denied
And everything would be different.

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a heart set on pilgrimage

Seasons Of Life

Life’s Seasons

fear

A Change Is Coming My Way

A Little Spoon Waiting For A Big Spoon

A Road Revisited

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