Monthly Archives: May 2008

New Attitude, God’s Word and William Tyndale

Posted by Amy W in Christianity, Random Thoughtz and tagged with , , , ,

 

Over the holiday weekend I drove down to Louisville, Kentucky with 3 other friends for a conference put on by Sovereign Grace Ministries called New Attitude.  I decided not to take my computer to reduce the amount of distraction while away so I haven’t been online nor have I been writing for a few days.

 The days immediately leading up to this road trip and conference found me in a very interesting state.  I got some news about something that I thought was done and over and out of my life forever.  Well, it’s not, and in fact, this may be just the beginning.  As I struggled to comprehend what was going on and to reconcile my feelings and various circumstances (present and past) with the God I serve, a plethora of emotions seemed to overtake me: doubt, anger, pain, and numbness.  Interestingly enough, I am going through Psalm 119 with my pastor’s wife and another woman I meet with regularly for accountability, community, bible study and to just share life together.  Combating these emotions and trying not to focus on all that is out of my control with regards to what was going on around me…Psalm 119 met me…reminding me of God’s sovereignty and justice…and more importantly His Word.  Needless to say, by the time Thursday and Friday rolled around, I was feeling much, much better.  Saturday was a bunch of driving and the starting session for the New Attitude Conference.  Joshua Harris spoke (a random side comment…Joshua Harris’s I Kissed Dating Goodbye was the first Christian book I ever read.  Knowing my past…it’s pretty hilarious that of all books for me to pick up…that was the one).  Through the next several days I soaked up teaching from C.J. Maheney, Eric Simmons, Mark Dever and John Piper.  It was amazing…and most of all all the the messages focused on God’s Word.  Over and over things that had come from my quiet time that week and from conversations with friends before leaving for KY came up in the messages.  It was pretty incredible. 

 I want to talk about what I learned and what I was challenged by over the course of the last few days, but I managed 3 hrs of sleep last night, so it can’t be in this post.  I will write out perhaps the most moving moment here…

 In his first talk, John Piper taught and preached about William Tyndale, a contemporary of Martin Luther and original translator of about 80 or 90% of the common language English Bible.  I don’t have anything deep or profound to say and I don’t know why I was so moved by this story, but I was.  William Tyndale, by age 28, was a Roman Catholic Priest.  By age 32, in Germany, he finished the 1st English translation of the Greek New Testament.  In exile and at the age of 42 he was strangled and burned (because he had been a priest they decided to strangle him before they burned him instead of burning him alive) because of the translation work he did during his short life.  At the end of the talk, Piper read a letter (the only letter he is known to have written) that Tyndale had written while locked up, sometime before his death.  In it he requests thicker stockings and a cap to keep his head warm – basics to help him get through the winter months.  Then he goes on to request a lamp, he mentions how lonely it is to sit alone in the dark.  Finally, he requests a Hebrew translation of the bible and a Hebrew dictionary to help him with the Hebrew.  Knowing he was facing death, Tyndale requests a lamp and a Hebrew bible.  We know not if his request was ever granted, but regardless we clearly see His love for God’s word AND his perseverance to continue in His calling of Bible translation thru to his last days.  Incredible!  Even just thinking about that and the images I get of him alone in his cell, cold…translating the bible so that one day someone like me could pick it up and uncover truths about God and Christ and the love that has been lavished upon me as an adopted daughter of the King.  The idea led me to weeping – the implications and exhortations deeper than I ever expected as Piper first started his talk. 

 Do I cherish the word?  Do I really cherish it? 
Do I care that others are able to see it- especially my non-Christian friends and family?
Am I willing to persevere in this life, regardless of what circumstances I may face, to live out of my calling to serve God for his Glory…even in the face of death? 

 

 

random…

Posted by Amy W in Poetry, Random Thoughtz, Scripture

Forever I sat there
The fire’s smoke filling my eyes
Blinding
And burning
I sat there believing that I must endure and feel but could never cry.
Eventually I stood and began to sway
The coolness of night clearing my eyes
Breathing
And Being
I began to walk only to look up and find your beauty displayed in a star filled sky.
And so I remain there
Your beauty filling my eyes
Shining
And Singing
I begin to understand what it means to endure and feel and somehow I’m able to cry.

 

“Let me hear joy and gladness; let the bones you have crushed rejoice” (Psalms 51:8 )

 

 

Posted by Amy W in Random Thoughtz, Scripture

Your word is a lamp to my feet
       and a light for my path.

 I have taken an oath and confirmed it,
       that I will follow your righteous laws.

 I have suffered much;
       preserve my life, O LORD, according to your word.

 Accept, O LORD, the willing praise of my mouth,
       and teach me your laws.

 Though I constantly take my life in my hands,
       I will not forget your law.

 The wicked have set a snare for me,
       but I have not strayed from your precepts.

 Your statutes are my heritage forever;
       they are the joy of my heart.

 My heart is set on keeping your decrees
       to the very end.
(Psalm 119:105-112)

__________________________________________________________________________ 
“I count him braver who conquers his desires than him who conquers his enemies; for the hardest victory is the victory over self.”
~Aristotle
If Aristotle is right…this battle is nothing compared to what little I’ve overcome and the vast amounts of what I have yet to face…

Dear God,

Posted by Amy W in Christianity, Jesus, Random Thoughtz, Scripture and tagged with , , , , , , , , ,

My flesh wants so bad to question your goodness
My flesh cries out over and over…why? 
My Flesh wants to yell and scream because the first time was one time too many…and by this time it’s getting ridiculous
My flesh wants to doubt your soverignty.
My flesh wants to question where in my life your hand really lies…if at all

But in moments of fear and weakness and attack…our flesh seems to want anything but you.  As if diametrically opposed to YOU my flesh becomes captive to the great deciever…and I find myself at a crossroads knowing I can’t stop the movement of time…the inevitable is coming, and the crossroads that I face today is simply a matter of choice.  Do I listen to my flesh and allow the ancient deciever to take me into the darkness or do I cling to you and your word…even when every inch of my being opposes? 

The choice is obvious, I must chose you.

I’m stronger than my flesh believes, because deeper than my flesh is Christ in me
I’m bolder than my flesh believes, because it’s by your Grace that I wake each day…with a voice and a message…and a responsibility to be true to the woman you’ve created me to be.
I’m worth more than the deciever would have me believe…that experience would have me believe
You are better than my flesh believes when it gets so caught up in immediate circumstances, unable to see or even accpet that your purposes are beyond what I can see…and your hand is moving in ways I can not percieve. 

I chose to believe and trust…or fight to believe and fight to trust.   

I’ll walk forward…or maybe I’m carried along, either way I’m not alone…you are here.  And tonight, despite my flesh and all that I see and touch and smell and read…Moment by Moment I will chose you…In your truth I will fight to believe.

“My Soul is weary with sorrow;
strengthen me according to your word
“May your unfailing love come to me, O Lord
your salvation according to your promise
Then I will answer the one who taunts me
for I trust in your word
Do not snatch the word of truth from my mouth
for I have put hope in your laws
I will always obey your law
forever and ever
I will walk about in freedom
for I have sought out your precepts
My comfort in my suffering is this:
YOUR PROMISE PRESERVES MY LIFE
(PSALM 119:28, 41-45, 50)

Thank you for your word.  Amen.

“Praise the Lord, O my soul
I will praise the lord all my life
I will sing praise to my God as long as I live” (Ps. 146:1)

Justice

Posted by Amy W in Prayer, Random Thoughtz, Scripture

 

Justice – noun -  (1) the administration of what is just (as by assigning merited rewards or punishments).  (2)  judge.  (3) the administration of law (4) fairness

 

Tonight I find myself barely able to direct or sort my thoughts.  I got some news today that has left me a little rattled and I find myself scrambling to NOT question the ideas of justice…especially as pertaining to God and His Justice. 

 

 I wish I could write openly and freely and get everything out, but I feel I must be vague and general because of circumstances out of my control…at least for now  

 

I know and want to believe this right now: 

 

The LORD loves righteousness and justice;
the earth is full of his unfailing love.
(Psalm 33:5)

 

But honestly the cries in my heart sound more like Job:

 

“Though I cry, ‘I’ve been wronged!’ I get no response;
though I call for help, there is no justice.”
(Job 19:7)

 

Maybe it’s just me, but I find it so easy to praise God for His justice and thank Him for His Mercy when nothing or no one has wronged me.  But once I feel as if I’ve been wronged or violated in some way, I begin to contemplate and question God’s justice.  Not that I don’t believe it, I just don’t understand it.  When justice doesn’t play out the way I think it should or want it to I begin to question it.  So often God’s ways don’t look like mine…or even the ways we would expect through our governing bodies.  But just because I don’t understand it, doesn’t make it God’s justice any less credible?  Does it make it any less valid?  I would say no, I just don’t understand it.

 

I find myself wandering and reaching out trying to grasp the hand of God…needing Him…and needing to believe His justice…regardless of what I see happen before my eyes.  I need to trust Him to keep from playing the “what if” game when I know I have other responsibilities to take care of…when I have other work to do…when I have a life to live.  

 

I just want to get it out.  I want to tell the story in every little detail.  I want people to believe me and to see it the way I see it…to find the same wrong…to want the same justice.  But perhaps even this desire is in attempts to feed my own hunger for justice…according to what I think it should look like. 

 

I honestly thought this was over and done with…I thought I could move on, but again it has found me.  I know I did the right thing.  It should have ended, but it hasn’t…and there is something so creepy about it all that I find myself scared.  I am scared.  I will do my part to maintain what I think is right and true, but I’m still scared.

 

I’m drowning in so many questions… fears…I trusted God before…I can trust Him today.

 

Abba, I need you.  When will it end?  How many times will I walk this road?  Please give me your strength and hold my hand.  Please help me to keep thoughts and fears under wraps so that I can function…at least until I understand more or know more.  Take this fear away…replace it with a childlike trust in you, despite what I see around me…despite what may or may not happen.  I don’t want to play out a million scenarios.  I don’t want to focus on all that might go wrong.  I just want it settled, done with.  I want what’s right to prevail.  I wish you could just breathe strength into my trembling hands and my worried mind.  Abba, I need you so much.  Please be with me tonight.