I remember several times through the course of high school and college where I was asked or I voluntarily mapped out my life.  Even before that, as with most of us, we get bombarded with the questions of what we want to be when we grow up.   I’ve mapped out my life over and over and every time the future steps look a little (or a lot) different.  Oddly enough, the map that has actually been completed thus far, looks nothing like the map[s] I had planned.   

Today…I don’t live where I thought I would live, I don’t have the degrees I thought I would have.  I don’t have the husband I thought I would have.  I don’t have openings and options I thought I would have.  I don’t have the friends I thought I would have.  I don’t have the pets I thought I would have.  I’m not complaining, just stating a few facts.  

My life looks different, yeah, but that doesn’t mean it’s bad.  Honestly, what is actually being created with each passing day is a painting more diverse and vibrant than I could have ever come up with.  My plans actually fell short of what has come about.  My plans where there; I pursued them, but the outcome and where I actually ended up has never aligned with what I expected.  It’s way better.  Much harder, but it’s also much better.   

Towards the end of the work week last week I realized I needed something to work towards.  Even if I don’t get there…I need something to work towards.  A goal or two. 

So I mapped out a new plan for my life.  This isn’t one of my new-every-six-month-life plan- plans.  This is what I’m going to work towards over the next few years, based on what I know of my life today.   

For the next year and a half I want to finish my bible certificate in Biblical Studies.  This will take me though a pretty big outage season (fall 09 – spring 2010) at work (this is why I’m doing this before the next thing in my plans).  As the certificate finishes up, and the major project at work goes from build to start-up/optimize/get online and running, I will apply for and lord willing start my MBA.  My company will pay for this and I think it’ll provide me with great experience and training for whatever my future holds in the secular workforce or in ministry.  The program I want to do is 2.5years in duration.  I figure I’ll be done by 2013.  I’ll be 31 (maybe I’ll still be 30).  That’s not too old.  

I still want to get my Masters in pastoral counseling or biblical studies/theology.  Perhaps I can work on that in my 30s.  Maybe I’ll be a mom by this time…or at least a wife.  Maybe I’ll be single and moving into management of some kind at work.  Maybe I’ll fill a position with my company outside of Baltimore, allowing me an increase in opportunities for the seminaries that I could attend as I continue to work to pay for seminary.  Who knows what the next 5 years will hold.  I just want something to work towards.  I need a goal – something that will keep me fighting and pushing forward.  This is it. 

The wisest man of all history said this:  “Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it’s the Lord’s purpose that prevails.” (Proverbs 19:21) 

 Funny, the wisest man never told us to not make plans.  He never said, no, don’t make goals.  Don’t work toward something.  NO!  He just recognizes that the Lord will prevail over the plans we make, the steps we take, and the dreams we create.  It’s the Lord who lays the foundation and makes our paths straight.  The Glory belongs to him in the end.  I guess I’m just keeping the trajectory of my life moving forward…allowing him to push me to the left and right…whatever is necessary to keep me on the path he so desires. 

As with all my other plans for my future, God’s purpose has prevailed.  Every step I’ve taken, regardless of where I thought I was headed, God made firm and directed.  I may still have this blog in 5 years.  It’s very likely that my life will not unfold the way I’m planning.  I may wake up in 5 years and laugh at what I wanted today.  The clarity that that hindsight allows us may mock my simple plans…especially when see what has actually unfolded over the years ahead.  I trust the Lord and trust that the portrait He continues to paint will always trump that which I have mapped out tonight.