Hey!

I just wanted you to know I’m sorry.  I wish I knew that you would find me today.  I wish I knew what I was giving away over the years.  But when I think about it, it’s almost funny how much they looked like you…especially in the darkness.  Look, I don’t want to make excuses, but I thought I was doing what I was supposed to do.  The only thing I knew to do.  It was what everyone told me to do – it’s what I was taught to do.  Even now I think that, sometimes…but I want to fight myself for you and all that you are thats not them.  I want to fight for what you are…and what ”we” would mean.  Please don’t go.

Everyone says, you live and you learn. 

Well, I know better now and I wish I could undo all that’s be written in history, but I can’t.  But I think I can make right the future…if you let me.  If you stay with me.

My eyes have been this color of sadness for a long long time, and now that I start to feel a twinge of hope…I’m staring at the possibility of watching it walk away.  I don’t know what this letter is supposed to accomplish other than trying, one last time, to get you to stay.

Please don’t walk away.  Trust me when I say I was always looking for you.  Trust me when I say that part of me feels like a caged bird that was recently let free.  I’m fighting to get back in the cage because I don’t know how a free bird lives. I’ve wanted to run from what was good because I don’t know how to live with that which is good.  Maybe, I’m a little scared of what is really good.  Maybe I didn’t believe that I could have or even deserve good.  Maybe I never thought good existed…until recently.  And even though I’m scared…I’ll fight if you stay with me and help me.  

Will you stay?  Will you welcome me back?

I have this dress…only you can make it white…will you?

My hand is held out…trembling…will you hold it?

will you hold me…forever?

You know where to find me.

Love,
Her

“For if anyone is in Christ, He is a new being.  The old has gone and the new has come.” (2 Corinthians 5:17)