Your whisper
cool in the night
penetrates my heart
giving birth to insight.
Your Spirit glides
along my side
until it finds a space -
an empty heart place.
You take root and give birth
to fill the voids
and reveal my worth
to the eyes that never saw
all that you see
as you look at me.
Your movement is strong
and come on fast
until your Truth is seen
vivid as a dream
by those very eyes
That seem to hide
alone
in my bathroom mirror.
(May 2008 )
Reasons Why
By: Nickle Creek
Where am I today? I wish that I knew
‘Cause looking around there’s no sign of you
I don’t remember one jump or one leap
Just quiet steps away from your lead
I’m holding my heart out but clutching it too
Feeling this short of a love that we once knew
I’m calling this home when it’s not even close
Playing the role with nerves left exposed
Standing on a darkened stage, stumbling through the lines
Others have excuses, but I have my reasons why
We get distracted by dreams of our own
But nobody’s happy while feeling alone
And knowing how hard it hurts when we fall
We lean another ladder against the wrong wall
And climb high to the highest rung, to shake fists at the sky
While others have excuses, I have my reasons why
With so much deception it’s hard not to wander away
It’s hard not to wander away
It’s hard not to wander away
I heard this song earlier. And I sit here at 430am, unable to sleep. I’m thinking about God and this song came to my mind.
Tonight I stood up at church and poorly articulated that I’m not in a good place right now. I’m not in a bad place, but I see things slowly unraveling…and I don’t want to get to the place where I’m stagnet and far from God. I hate that place. I tried to explain that I’m having trouble making myself do the things I should do…I skipped that and went straight to talking about the things that were frustrating me and confusing me. I did say that I felt like I should ask friends to pray for me. I meant it. I guess I wasn’t very clear in saying what was really wrong.
After I spoke, a woman leaned forward and told me that we live in a fallen world…thats why things are the way they are. When church finished she leaned toward to me again and told me that I would have trouble growing close to God if I’ve never been baptised by the holy spirit and spoke tounges. She implied that without it…I may not leave this place I’m in tonight…that I’m missing something and will not feel close to God without it.
I talked to her for a while, but the conversation left me feeling rather discouraged. Theology aside…it was, in general, very discouraging.
