I’ve been working this crazy work schedule lately. For the past 4 days I would to go work at 6pm and work through 6am the next morning. It was hard, but also really good. One of the things I learned during this time is that I really love 6am. I wouldn’t normally consider myself a “morning person”, but getting off work at 6am and driving home became a favorite thing for me over the past several days. Even more, I realized that I loved running in my neighborhood at 6am. The morning air is still cool, the humidity is low and mood is just right for a run. I’ve had 2 of my best runs in almost a year at 6am (and yes, after working a 12 hr shift). At 6am I run stronger, farther, and a walk a lot less. It’s been wonderful.
No longer being on my crazy night schedule (at least for a few days), I decided that I would try to wake up at 6am to run this morning. I slept in until 8am. I got up and decided to run anyway. The humidity had set in and the temperature had started to rise; conditions were far less than ideal. On my little 4 mile loop I have markers where I normally stop to walk or start running again. That’s normally how I gauge how well I run. Today it was nearly impossible to get to that first marker. What seemed like a piece of cake at 6 am seemed like near death at 8am this morning.
As I ran (or tried to run) I began reflecting on the dynamics of my recent morning runs. How easy it was for me to push myself farther when the conditions were right. Add a little more humidity, a little more heat, and less yard sprinklers to run through…and I’m one cranky, non-running runner. In these conditions, I’m more likely to give up without a fight, I’m more likely to cheat, and I’m more likely to walk on the stretches that I had hoped to run. My mind would say go, but my body and the conditions I felt around me screamed NO!
About this time I was rounding a corner and starting up a hill. In light of my morning reflections, I became determined to run it. I refused to be defeated by circumstances…especially when I know I can persevere and make it up this hill. If I can do it at 6 am after working all night, I better be able to do it this morning. As I started up the hill, Hebrews 12:1-3 came to mind…and I began to piece together reality not just of my run, but of my life as well.
“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.”
I love the Lord and I want to live my life for Him and His Glory. I really do. But something I’ve seen a lot lately is how easily I give up when things get tough. When circumstances aren’t ideal, just as today’s humidity, I slow down until I’m walking…or, in some cases, barely crawling. I get angry at God for what is or is not happening and I stop pushing forward. I take breaks and rest, when I should be fighting and moving on.
I am a woman who loves the word and loves the Lord, but I’m also someone who ignores verses like the one above in Hebrews. I throw temper tantrums and stop reading or stop praying because walking through certain seasons is just too hard…or maybe it doesn’t look the way I think it should. It’s immature and is something that I am seeing more and more…and wanting to do less and less.
As I finished my run I decided that I want to be someone who endures and perseveres. For a brief moment I took my mind off of the humidity and focused on the goal I had set before me. I was able to run a hill I was tempted to walk. I’d like to say the same in my spiritual life - I want to run up the hills I’d rather walk. I want to fight through and continue on when part of me wants to stop. I want to be that woman who clings to God no matter what the circumstance or season I find myself in. Perhaps the key to that lies in the verse that I meditated on as I ran today. Perhaps more often than not, my focus is on my circumstances…afterall, I’ve already admitted those circumstances are what lead me to give up so easily. Resetting my eyes on Jesus, the circumstances, the details, and even the things and people around me that disappoint fade into the background. Forgiveness and patience come much easier. The drive and fight is a lot stronger with the Goal in mind. And perhaps, the only way perseverence is achievable in my life is when my eyes are set on Chist – the author and perfector of my Faith…
I don’t know if I’m there today…but by the Grace of God, perhaps one day I will be.
God help me to place my eyes on you. Help me to not focus on what is happening around me, but rather on you. Please perfect this Faith…
