Monthly Archives: August 2008

Thoughts on Doctrine…

Posted by Amy W in Devotional, Random Thoughtz and tagged with , , ,

I read this in a recent devotional and thought it was worthy of sharing…

“It is commonly said that ‘what you don’t believe can’t hurt you’ – but is that really true?  If we don’t know that God is everywhere, the resulting loneliness could cripple our Christian lives.  If we know little about the doctrine of God’s goodness, then we may struggle for year, afraid to surrender ourselves completely to him.  The doctrines of the Christian faith should not only inform us of what we need to know, but should also form us into the people we should be. 

Ignorance of the truths of biblical Christianity hinders growth in godliness.  While it is quite possible to know the facts of the Christian faith but remain unchanged, the normal Christian life is one in which God uses His truth to transform us.  What we believe should affect how we behave.” 

From DocDevos By Larry Dixon, Professor at Columbia International University.

“we can not become what we need to be by remaining who we are”  ~Max De Pree

Posted by Amy W in Random Thoughtz

Every so often I will have one of these moments.  They’re moments when I feel completely empowered.  Almost as if the clouds that seem to blind me to the reality that is my life lifts and I see clearly…even if for only a moment.  I had one such moment tonight.  The only thing I saw is that there is a world around me waiting to be discovered…and instead of discovering, I’m sitting on my couch waiting for this or that…thinking that once this or that enters into my life…I will finally be able to live the life I am meant to live…the life filled with hope and purpose…a life promised in Jeremiah 29.   

 I am fumbling.  I find myself having a hard time clinging to a strength and truth that I know comes from God especially as I walk with those around me.  The truth of God’s goodness in the midst of waiting and being content in singleness is stretched to the limits as I talk with friends as they too struggle with their singleness.  My heart drops as I am forced to answer their questions as to whether I really believe the words I use as I try to encourage them in their loneliness.  I do…its hard…but I believe it.  My own loneliness and a genuine happiness for friends goes head to head in an all out battle as I watch close friends enter into relationships and stages of life that seem almost unattainable to me almost all the time. I hold with clenched fists the Truth that God is good and that His ways are perfect as my less-than-perfect-life continues to unfold…and the messyness of my past continues follow me around like an ever-present shadow. 

 My confusion about next steps in my life builds up a feeling of hopelessness… especially as people around me seem to have details of their life falling into place.  In some cases their pieces seem to fall all too closely to the places in which I wish my pieces were falling.  I listen as they work out details that seem so clear to me…their answer is obvious…if only they saw what I saw.  If only God would reveal to me in a way that he has revealed to them…

 Envy ensues.

 My patience is wearing thin.  My faith is fading quickly.  Or so it seems.  Holy Spirit…where is your fruit tonight?

 My flight reaction is growing quickly…I want/need to get away.  I need to go somewhere…to experience the world.  I want to leave now.

 And all of this serves as a premise to an idea that I had tonight…

 I want to go to Ireland.

 Or somewhere…

 Soon.

Substitution

Posted by Amy W in Christianity, Quotes and tagged with , , , , , , , ,

This quote was found in the dicsipleship book I’m using with a girl I’m discipling.  It’s in reference to our sin and Christ’s sacrifice.  I thought it was good enough to share.  

“The concept of substitution may be said to lie at the heart of both sin and salvation.  For the essence of sin is man substituting himself for God, while the essence of salvation is God substituting himself for man.  Man asserts himself against God and puts himself where only God deserves to be; God sacrifices himself for man and puts himself where only man deserves to be.  Man claims prerogatives with belong to God alone; God accepts penalties which belong to man alone.”  ~John Scott

 

The only thought that I have now is…”Dang!”

The Value of Life

Posted by Amy W in Scripture and tagged with , , , , , , , , ,

“And now, compelled by the Spirit I am going to Jerusalem, not knowing what will happen to me there.  I only know that in every city the Holy Spirit warns me that prison and hardships are facing me.  However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me – the task of testifying to the gospel of God’s grace.” (Acts 20:22-24) 

A few days ago I sat attentive to amazing business and church leaders.  I listened as CEOs for non-profits and major corporations spoke about their experiences as leaders and their walks with Christ.  At the end of 2 incredible days of challenging messages, Bill Hybels, the Senior Pastor of Willow Creek Community Church ended the conference with a talk on the life and ministry of Mother Theresa – the message he wanted to convey was an exhortation to live with a “carte blanche yielded-ness” to Christ.  During his talk he referenced Paul and the verses above.  

With the exception of a few lines, my notes for the conference end there.  I listened as he spoke and thought as my eyes wandered over these verses over, and over… and over.  I had an interesting feeling that I should probably just camp out on these verses for a while.  

So this is what I’ve been thinking… 

Paul, knowing the hardship that would await him, declared that his life was worth nothing.  I guess I would translate this as, “I’m not scared and I’m willing to die if only I’m able to continue living out the purpose set before me”.  Paul knew what would happen, all the bad things and suffering he would face, but he marched forward anyway.   

I can’t help but wonder if the inverse would also be true.  If it wasn’t about enduring pain and suffering, but rather living in sacrifice with unmet needs and desires, would Paul say the same thing, would he still consider it nothing.   

The thing that caught my attention was not with regards to oppression of facing death in sharing the Gospel.  The area that I felt convicted by were these other ridiculously selfish areas of my life that I so often distract me from living out a life that’s more glorifying to God.  As I’ve thought about this verse I’ve challenged myself with the same idea: 

Is my life worth nothing compared to living a life of testimony to the Gospel? 

It seems that what Paul (and perhaps God) sees as primary – testifying to the grace of the Lord – I’ve somehow made secondary or tertiary in my own life.  That which makes up ones life (security, safety, dreams, desires, etc) and should possibly be inferred as secondary or tertiary by Paul’s statement, I have made primary in my life.  And by primary, I mean the focus.  

My focus has, for a long while now, moved away from the sharing of the Gospel…at least as of primary importance.  Instead I focus on my singleness/desire for a husband & family, whether I should go to seminary or get my MBA, whether I should stay in Maryland or relocate, whether I should attend 6 weddings or 5, what roles I should fill and what titles I should attain in ministry, each of my confusions and complexities…the list could go on.  When I think about Paul and his assertion that life (especially when weighed against the sharing Truth) means nothing I can’t help but realize that I’m letting factors (while of fair importance in my, or anyone’s life) that should be second or third tier to God’s purpose get in the way of that purpose and plan. 

 If I were to stay single
If I were to go to Seminary
If I were to get an MBA
If I were to relocate
If I were to retire and start my own business… 

Regardless of what I were to do, it should be NOTHING to me…especially when compared to the understanding that I am called by God as a co-laborer and have been given Truth and a purpose to share truth to those around me.  If pursuing that one fact meant that my desires would go un-met or decisions would go un-made…would I be okay with that?

 Can I, somehow, be as eager as Paul to count my life (and all that would define my life) nothing for the sake of God’s purposes? 

Best Summer Night of 2008

Posted by Amy W in Random Thoughtz

This weekend I experienced perhaps my favorite night of 2008 – and with my insane work schedule lately…I am super grateful that I had the night/weekend off to partake in the adventure.

Adventure it was…gathering at a friends house, 8 people (myself included…3 girls 5 guys) set out for what we thought would be an hour or two canoe adventure down a section of the patuxent river.  We started at this place affectionately known as “cry baby bridge” (it’s one of the local spooky story locations in our area).  It was about 1am when we finally started down the river.  We had two canoes and lots of time to spare. 

At first the river was quiet, easily managable and serene.  The night sky was clear and a million stars could be seen from the boat.  SEVERAL hours went by and our end point was no where in sight.  My boat, having been tipped over by a strong current and old tree filled with giant spiders, was freezing cold and all of us were tired.  We wondered if we missed our “fork” in the river of if we had somehow wandered astray in our boats.  There were a million downed trees that left us dodging, floating under and climbing over at various points during the night. 

When my friend said “canoe adventure” I had no idea this is what it would entail…none of us did…but that’s what made it beautiful. 

Soon enough the light began to emerge and our fearless leaders (unofficial, but since it was their idea…I called them our leaders…at least in my mind) began to acknowledge that the canoe trip had taken a lot longer than expected.  We continued on…and eventually found the bridge that defined our end point…arrival time approximately 7am (yeah, we started at 1am…you do the math!). 

We arrived back at the house at 8am showered and began cooking pancakes, eggs and bacon.  We had a wonderful breakfast…and then as if we hadn’t slept in days…we all crashed…hard. 

I can’t say there was anything super spiritual about the trip.  There was no awe inspiring moment.  It was just a plain fun, adventure (and spider) filled night on the water.  Hanging out with friends, dodging the largest spiders known to man (at least in my mind they were), riding the waves, climbing trees and chanting “thrust” over and over again.  It was, hands down, the best night of my summer. 

I would have pictures to post, but our camera now lives at the bottom of the patuxent river.  Perhaps some of the best memories are those that are shared by great friends…and are also the ones that you don’t need a picture to remember it by.  (although, I would have loved a picture of me and the other two girls, walking to out from under the bridge, looking for our car, soaking wet, covered in mud with a headlight flashlight on my head…that would have been priceless!)