Considering how my last church plant update spoke of my new church taking me out of my comfort zone of being around singles to being around many young families, I thought it would be appropriate to update on my first day volunteering with our children’s Sunday School.   

Let me set the stage, my church is about 27 adults, too many kids to count, and we meet in a house.  The adults have church in the living room, the kids have Sunday school in the dining and second living room.  Today, I was volunteered to do the kids church (I’d like to say I saw the need and rose to the occasion, but really, I stepped up because I was specifically asked to do it).  I was nervous, not knowing what we were studying and not wanting to mess anything up, I walked in to a story, a few questions, and a not-yet-defined craft project.  Things went okay for most of the morning, I had a great helper who got snacks and helped me as needed.  Then…almost as if they had devised this sneaky little plan…one by one, each one of the youngest kids had to use the potty.  

Okay, story time I can handle.  Craft time, snack time, play time…I get it.  BUT POTTY TIME…what am I supposed to do with that??  Was this part of the deal?  Seriously!

I mean, how much do I help…  

Do I help at all? 
Do you wipe? 
Do they wipe? 
Do I wipe? 
I don’t know!!! 

You wouldn’t think that something as simple as a bathroom break would send me over the edge, but it did.  By the time the last one looked at me and told me he got peepee on his pants, I nearly lost it.  I thought it was my fault for not knowing how much help these kids needed to go potty. And now, I had to face the parents, asking for a spare set of pants and underwear.      

I never realized how scary it can be to be pushed beyond your comfort zone.  I’ve gone to other countries, stepped into places and towns and felt a change or discomfort that was so much more manageable than feeling utterly clueless with those kids and their active bladders today.  Even as the pastor smiled at me being pushed into the “unknown”, anxiety fought within me to bring tears to the surface (for the record, I didn’t cry…this time). 

After church, as we fellowshipped over salad, I listened as the pastor spoke about the consumerist mentality of church that exists today.  Specifically how we’re all walking out of that environment into a house church that will only survive if we learn to rely and support each other.  There is a culture change that must happen – from the consumer mentality to one that is humble and service focused.  With the anxiety of my morning was still fresh, I couldn’t help but feel a twinge of conviction when the pastor made his comment.  Okay, maybe not so much a “twinge”, maybe it was more like a punch!  After all, I haven’t jumped at the opportunity to serve my church.  I bring food each week, but that has gone from a thing I love to an action I almost loathe because it’s now expected of me.  I only do kids church if they ask me.  Maybe I’m not as much of a servant as I thought I was… 

This afternoon, being pushed to walk through my discomfort and serve my church with the kids, I realized something about myself.  I’ve talked so much and criticized the modern church for its consumerism.  The consumers go on Sunday Morning, and church administrators make sure the right programs are in place to feed them.  I have criticized this so much…only to realize today that I am that church.  I am the consumer.  I am the Christian who looks at Sunday service for what I can get out of it and not for what the body needs.  I have this sense of entitlement that my needs must be first met before I can really work to meet the needs around me.  I am the Christian who can look around and see all that’s wrong in the world around her…and completely miss how well she actually blends in.  The amusing thing is that it took a 2 yr old with wet pants to finally open my eyes to that reality.

 Oh Lord, please take this heart of mine.  God it seems so off and so far from what you would have.  Please forgive my self-centeredness.  Please help me to embrace this church with the mission of bringing the promise and experience of your redemption and kingdom to those in my midst.  Please take my eyes away from the mirror and place their focus on your heart.  Please God.  Please.