Category Archives: Life Lessons From Church Planting

Specific experiences and lessons that God is teaching me through my attempt at starting a life in a new city…and starting a church while I’m there.

Surprised By Grace

Posted by Amy W in Life Lessons From Church Planting, women in ministry and tagged with , , , , , , ,

In about a week, my church will celebrate it’s one year birthday.  Though there was a growing team of people meeting for a little while longer than that, it was a year ago that they had the “launch service” – the service that marked the official start of the church.

I was there at the launch service – my first time at this new church.  I had been praying for changes in my life and, more specifically, a new church when a flyer showed up at my door.  I went that first week and have been going ever since.

This past weekend we had our church’s first Woman’s Retreat.  We had space for 30 women to go, and after some last minute cancellations and fill-ins we arrived at the site with 29 women + 1 speaker.

Even though this was my first ever retreat for women, I ended up being part of the planning team.  My responsibility was to prepare a prayer room (which also meant encouraging the prayer team ladies to sign up and help pull something together) and then at the last minute was asked to be a discussion group leader  when another was unable to fill the slot.  Immediately after the first planning meeting, the prayer team started praying for the event and for the ladies that God would be bringing this weekend.

Leading up to the retreat, our prayer team came up with some ideas for the prayer room and we scrambled together supplies.  By 3 PM Friday, we were at the house.  We walk in the door only to realize that the prayer room is an open space just off the main entrance filled with a hot tub and exercise equipment.

As we started processing the difficult situation before us, I thought of a dear friend who loved the quote, “when life gives you lemons, make lemonade” and encouraged the team that we can still make this space work if we get a little creative.  We moved some of the exercise equipment out of the room, we rearranged the remaining pieces, plugged in a few night lights, and found 2 dividers to create “walls” where none existed.  When the prayer room opened that night, it actually turned out to be a pretty decent space.  Once we were done setting up, the prayer team walked the entire house praying over spaces, rooms, and each attendee by name.

Later that night the guests arrive…and God starts to work.

Over the course of the weekend I saw girls engaged in conversations, connecting, laughing, and relaxing.  We were encouraged and challenged by our wonderful speaker.  In discussion groups, the women opened up and “got real” about what was going on in their life and what God was (or wasn’t) doing.  Tissues went flying, we cooked too much food, and I think we even got a complaint called in to the local authorities because we were being “way too loud” during worship.

Sunday afternoon, I was the last person to use the prayer room.  I sat there praying and praising, feeling completely overwhelmed by what God had done:

  • Women who I know have been seeking community and feeling like they “don’t fit in” sincerely connected with at least 1 new person, if not more on this trip.
  • Several women had very deep and personal encounters with God…the Holy Spirit was so evident by Sunday morning’s worship session that you could taste it.
  • I “peeked in” on the prayer room several times over the weekend to see women praying, having their devotional, and partaking in the prayer room activity.
  • We didn’t have Sunday morning discussion groups, because by the end of the talk and worship time, 2 women had decided that they wanted to get baptized.  Everyone ran out to watch and celebrate on the beach together.  One of these women gave me the honor to be one of the two to go in the water to baptize her.

By Sunday night I found myself overwhelmed again as I saw the connections and comments flying across the walls of the ladies’ Facebook pages.  (oh the movements of His hand may I never miss…)

I think it’s funny to know God and have faith in God, but then find ourselves surprised by what He actually does in different situations.  Months ago I confessed how scared I was that I might not be able to do what He had called me to do.  I am continually brought back to God’s exhortation to Moses that the fruit of his obedience would be a sign to him that God has sent him.  This weekend I felt like I saw and was affirmed that God has not only brought me and others to this place for this time, but gave me a personal reminder of HOW BIG HE IS.  Sometimes God moves to show the unbelieving generations who he is…and at other times He moves to remind his children that he alone is God.

I left Sunday afternoon feeling a strong conviction that I need to obey him and be present in the service and ministry opportunities He has put before me, today.  Being obedient here and now will move me into whatever plans he has for me in 1 months, or 6 months or years into the future.  They may be different, or more of the same.  Regardless, if I focus too much on what may or may not lie ahead, I might miss the beautiful movement of his Hand today.   This weekend I saw His hand…and I am in awe at how good, tender, and completely faithful He is to His daughters.

As I reflect on all that happened, I find myself especially surprised by grace. You see, it is the grace that comes from Christ that enables us to stand as a co-laborer with Him, appointed to bear fruit for His Glory (2 Cor 6:1, John 15:16).  We are able to serve out a calling  (no matter how big or small it may seem) because of His Grace.  We do not deserve it, nor are we entitled to it…yet, we are allowed to experience it.

I am not in any way responsible for what happened this weekend, but I am tasting the sweet blessing that comes from the steps of obedience that have been placed before me and the team of people I serve with.  I don’t know if it is the culmination of months of praying and planning, or if it the simple realization that God is living and active today, either way this feeling…this “surprised by grace” place is one I hope to sit in for as long as He’ll let me.

Can We Trust God Beyond Our Strengths?

Posted by Amy W in Christianity, Devotional, life, Life Lessons From Church Planting and tagged with , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

The man asked, “Who am I, that you would ask me to do this?”

The Lord answered, “I will be with you and this will be a sign for you that I have sent you…”

“But Lord I am not eloquent…I am slow of speech and tongue”

The Lord replied, “who made your mouth?”

The man said, “please, Lord, send someone else”

The anger of the Lord kindled and he said, “Look there is your brother, he can speak well…he shall be your mouth”.

If you read my about me section, you will see that I have my Strengths Finder strengths listed.  I have pride in my personality result tests (I love them!) and this one I liked because it nailed areas that I consider strengths of mine.  Socially, the strengths-based ideology has spread in the past several years.  The premise behind it is that we are most effective when we work within our strengths.  It makes sense right?  Simply put – know what you’re good at and do it.  This line of logic implies the opposite as well: “don’t do or work in the areas that you’re not good at.”  For the most part I agree, it’s hard not to, right?  If you’re not good at it, doesn’t that increase your chances of failure?  And who wants to fail, really?

What happens, though, when we are facing a challenge or calling that is not something we feel confident in?  Maybe we can’t see the application of our top five strengths in the task at hand, or maybe we’ve just never done it before, so we’re not sure we can.  The Strengths Finder ideology doesn’t really advocate for success when we’re called out beyond our “strengths”.

As the Bible indicates, this was the case with Moses.  Above I’ve included a very abbreviated version of the dialogue between Moses and God as God was calling Moses to lead Israel out of Egypt (the full version can be read in chapters 3-4 of Exodus).  Moses had never done what God was asking him to do and even recognized that his inability to speak well could affect the work ahead.  I find it humorous, now, that God’s response was simply that He made Moses’s Mouth.  I mean, who more than the creator would know what Moses could or could not do with that speech impediment?  Can you relate?

At one point or another, many, if not all of us, will or have faced a calling or challenge or new job, and thought to ourselves, “God, clearly I can’t do this”?  I know I have.  Just yesterday I met with one of the pastors at my church to talk about the Prayer Ministry that we’re trying to establish.  I was excited during the conversation, but then later started to have what I fondly call “a Moses Moment”.  It was one of those times where, facing what I believe God has put before me, I began to think,

“God I can’t do this”. 

“God, I’m not creative…I’ll never come up with fun ideas that will get people motivated about prayer”. 

“And, who am I to tell anyone how to pray?  Do I even know how to pray?”. 

“Are you sure you want me?”

As I read the dialogue between Moses and God this morning, I resonated with Moses’s insecurity.  I think most of us can.  Take note of God’s first response in Chapter 3 vs. 12: “I will be with you, and this shall be a sign for you, that I have sent you”.  I think most Christians recognize that while here on earth we are to Glorify God.  He wants His truth to be known to the ends of the earth.  What I think we sometimes forget (that I had forgotten) is that He also continues to make Himself more fully known to us who already believe.  Of course God wants Israel to know him and believe He is who he is, but in this moment, God’s response wasn’t about the others…It was for Moses specifically and the potential growth of God’s reign and truth in his life.  In the end, the slight wavering of Moses’s trust in God’s calling brought Aaron into the journey.  On one hand, I see that regardless, God’s will was accomplished and the people of Israel came up out of Egypt.  On the other hand, I can’t help but wonder if, for Moses personally, there was a depth or insight or connectedness that was missed out on because He insisted that he couldn’t do what God had clearly called him to do.   I can only speculate that there was.

I don’t think we’re always called to do things we feel unequipped to do, but in the times that we are,  I would challenge us to reflect on Moses’s calling.  Just as God made his mouth, so too are we “fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14).  Even better than Gallup is able to identify our strengths or Myers Briggs is able to outline our personality traits, God knows us.  The Lord knows what we are really able to do with Him, and as Paul wrote to the Ephesians, “we are His workmanship, created in Christ to do good works, which [He] prepared for us in advance, that we should walk in them.” (ch. 2 vs. 10).

When God calls us, who are we to tell Him He has chosen the wrong person?  Look at God’s final response to Moses in Chapter 4…Moses’s disbelief made God angry.  I can’t believe that God takes this sort of thing lightly.  Clearly our salvation will not be removed when we falter like this, nor will it cause God’s love for us to change (2 Tim 2:13, Ex 15:13, Psalm 13:5 and 33:18).  God will still do what He’s going to do in the grand scheme of things.  But I also don’t think we should ignore that the scripture indicates that Moses refusal made God angry.

There are times when we jump into things we know we’re good at…there are other times God calls us to serve beyond what we think we have the strength to do or are best equipped to do.  In these times, if we trust and are faithful to His calling…we may stumble forward, but we will walk away upright knowing and praising what the Lord has done.

Church Minority = The Single Upper 20-Something

Posted by Amy W in Church Planting, Dating & Relationships, life, Life Lessons From Church Planting, singleness, Uncategorized and tagged with , , , , , , ,

Naturally, for most, there pre-exists a desire to be in a romantic relationship.  Based on my own personal experiences as well as hours and hours of conversations with women over the last decade, I would add that the self-imposed pressures to be in relationships (and even more so married) are especially strong for women.  We want to know that we’re loved and cared for and “special” to someone…anyone.  We drive ourselves crazy if we’re single too long, or as one once-roommate put it, “our lips get a little too dusty”. Over the time we spend single we actually sway back and forth from the desires running rampant in our hearts to some ”odd” sense of contentment in our single status, perhaps even thinking we just might be called to singleness (and thinking that would be okay).  Eventually we sway back to the desire-overload experience, we start worrying, looking, chasing…and perhaps even arguing, begging with or bribing God to give us the humanly love we know we need and deserve today.  This vicious cycle is our heart’s secret reality.

And this is just the inward tension that exists for singles

As singles learn to deal with their own inward madness they are also watching everyone around them getting hitched.  You know those “hitched” friends… the ones who continually tell their single friends “as soon as they became content in their own singleness” or as soon as they “had given up looking for or thinking there was someone out there for them” God brought their spouse.   And so the outward social pressure begins to take effect.  The hitched friends, grow in number, eventually to the point where the number of single people are very small in comparison, leaving the single with a heightened awareness of their relationship status.

THEN, the marrieds outnumber the singles so much that as soon as they see Single Person A (SPA) and Single Person B (SPB), and without knowing anything at any depth of either two single people, they suddenly make a huge deal over the fact that SPA and SPB are both single and therefore should obviously be interested in each other and get married next week.

The married’s swarm around SPA and/or SPB and begin to talk up the other SP, putting ideas into their heads about how great the other is, and how cute they look together…meanwhile SPA and SPB may not have even said one word to each other.  And when probed even further, SPA or SPB draws out the reality that  the marrieds are just really excited at the idea that 2 singles would become a married…they don’t actually know SPA, SPB or maybe they don’t really know either of them!!

First let me say that I write out this rant smiling completely.  I know that people love- love.  People (especially those who have already found their ”one”) love to see others fall in love and get married.  They also feel for the tension and loneliness that singles feel and want to see them happy with the mate that the SP longs for. Played out, this looks like a lot of talk and “encouragement” for things to happen without really knowing the unique qualities and traits/character of the two single people – you know…those very things that often can make or break relationships in the long run.

But there are a few things that I think SP must be mindful of in the midst of this kind of external pressure:

In our lives, we are called to serve and bring glory to God. I believe that part of how we are used in this capacity is divinely authored by the Lord we serve.  It can be administered during our single years, by remaining single, or by getting married.  Whatever way, the administrator of this is God and the timing of transitions between those life phases belongs to him as well.

Marriage is not the pinnacle of Christian Experience here on earth. There is much that one will learn in relationship with others, so, if it is an interest or desire in our hearts, certainly we should not close ourselves off from building friendships and being open to opportunities and people who are in our midst.  But being married isn’t the end all be all to life.  While most will get married in their lifetime, many are also called to live a single life, which Paul also talks about  in 1 Corinthians 7.  Churches should support singles, encouraging them to move forward in life (enabling and equipping them to prepare for relationship and marriage), but should not do so at the detriment of their ability to embrace where God has them today.  I bring up this idea because I think we are often off balance…clinging to one of the two extremes when talking to singles.    Singleness is good, marriage is good…bring more balance in how this is preached to singles…and perhaps they too will begin to secure balance as they work with God on this particular area of their life.

Outward Pressure pushing friends into relationship is not always healthy. I think that, sure, sometimes people need a little encouragement to make themselves available and prepare themselves to have relationships, but I don’t think it’s healthy for people other than the two entering into a relationship to prayerfully decide that the relationship is a “good idea”.  Not all singles were meant for each other and not all “christian” relationships are good relationships.  The pressure I joked about above will often make the situations and interactions between said single people rather fuzzy.  Because of the peer pressure, they may overlook clear incompatibilities, they may rush into a relationship that either isn’t ordained or isn’t the right timing.  This external pressure can also perpetuate the lie that many singles often inwardly (and secretly) believe that something is wrong with them because they’re still single (or that if another of the opposite sex is still single, there must be something wrong with them).  Their response is to often act immediately (thinking all opportunities are the best or right opportunities) so that they can fix their singleness problem.  Singles make enough poor decisions around relationships (jumping into, running from) due to their own internal pressures that they feel…they really don’t need the outward pressures from friends and family members who love – love and are having a hard time that SPA or SPB is still single at their ripe old age of 27!!

I think relationships are both beautiful, difficult and serious, especially if you view them with an intentionality toward marriage.  Being single is difficult enough as it is in the Christian community.  And the difficulty only increases with age.  There are ways to encourage singles in your midst in a very healthy way…get to know them, be open and honest in accountability-type relationships with them…even if they’re not married (it will teach them a lot, and some singles are actually wise), encourage them and pray with them if they do meet someone they like and are intentionally getting to know…but please, please don’t start playing CUPID…encouraging situations and relationships just for the sake of changing their relationship status.  The latter just isn’t fair…no matter how deeply that person longs for their spouse.

Remembering The Gospel

Posted by Amy W in Christianity, Devotional, Life Lessons From Church Planting, Scripture and tagged with , ,

I don’t know how long its been…6 months, 10 months…a year, maybe.  However long…I feel like I’ve been walking through this time where things have been really hard for me.  I’ve struggled and suffered in many ways.  God has opened my eyes to the reality of the depth of my selfishness, forced me to embrace loneliness in ways I never really had as a Christian, brought insecurities to the surface, and allowed me to experience the truth of the statement “the harvest is plenty but the workers are few”.  I’ve been hurt and confused by people in my church body.  One thing after another…and the truth is it’s been really hard.  Somewhere along this season I started to give up.  Fervent prayer waned, my witness, possibly, faded out, church and all that I was doing with it became a checklist…tasks that I would check off…motions I would go through.  Work got hard, homework got harder…and finding time for God seemed to be the hardest.

I’ve known for a while that I’ve been “off”.  God has been with me this whole time, don’t get me wrong…I’ve experienced glimpses of His Grace and Victory over this time, but the reality is this is the season God has allowed me to walk.  And scripture provides confidence that regardless of how I’m feeling, He’s with me…with all of His sons and daughters.

Could this time be an opportunity to cling to him more?  An opportunity to un-clench my hands from around every “good” bad thing that I had been holding to…those things that were maintaining a false sense of security in my walk with God?

Perhaps a little bit of all of the above.

Today I struggled with a single sentance that a friend spoke to me recently.  It drove directly into an insecurity that I’ve always struggled with perhaps most of my life.  I tried everything I knew to do…and it kept eating at me.

Tonight I picked up a little book that someone gave to me as I shared with them my thoughts that I had lost touch with the Gospel.  It’s called the Gospel Primer.  by Page 2 of the first part of the book…I found myself stuck – and this what I realized as I meditated on the truths and scriptures presented…

The Gospel is the power of God.  We see glimpses of God’s power all around us…the winds of a hurricane, the eruption of a volcano, but it’s the Gospel (and Christ) that scripture actually identifies as being the power of God.  The Gospel is there both for unbelievers as well as believers.  Hebrews 4:2 acknowledges that it is the Gospel united with faith that brings about change and growth and fruit in the lives of those who hear it.  Could it be that faith too will wane  or falter over time if not coupled with the Gospel?  If so…thats the story of the season I’ve been walking through…and tonight it helped shed light on a lot thats happened during this time.

I realized that after battling a single lie today, the reality is that it has no power over me when it stands in comparison to the Gospel – the fact that Christ was crucified and died for our sins and that God is in the process of renewing and restoring people to the fullness of what He intended for his creation.

The Gospel is the power of God…tonight it helped immensely to remember it and meditate upon it.

Abba, thank you.  for meeting me tonight.  for hearing my heart cries and being faithful to meet me in this place.  God, help me to remember your Gospel help me to use it to combat the condemnation that comes from my doubts and insecurities.  Lord, help me to forgive my friend’s words…and the words of several others who have also fed the insecurity that ate at me today.
For that I need you, please…
Please restore the truth of your Gospel to it’s proper place in my heart and mind. Thank you for your love…and your word…and the gift of Grace that you lavish upon my life.
Amen.

Life Lesson #2: Don’t Pass By Signs for Lost Dogs

Posted by Amy W in Christianity, Church Planting, Jesus, Life Lessons From Church Planting, Prayer and tagged with , , , , , , , ,

Last night I had a great picnic on the lawn of St. Johns with a few girlfriends.  We talked about dreams and passions we have.  We reflected on the stress and burdens that seem to be hitting us and everyone around us.  As night set in, we prayed.  A little while later, 3 of us (myself included) were left to set up a “date night” on the docks in Annapolis.  Missing an I-pod we thought it might be possible to convince one of the many random guitar players to go play some romantic music for the couple.  Eventually we came upon this one guy who started to sing about us as we stood in front of him.  Deciding that his music style wasn’t exactly romantic, we walked away.  

Something told me to go back so I did.  I mean maybe he could play something sweet and romantic.  When my friends realized that I had actually entered into a conversation with this guy and probably wouldn’t walk away, they came back over to join me.  Over the course of about 1.5 hrs of conversation we began to learn that the musician was actually very sick.  The person that appeared drunk in person was actually rather philosophical…and extremely talented with the application of metaphor to allude to deep, profound things.  Another thing that came out of our conversation was the reality that this man falls asleep every night not knowing if he will wake up the next day.  Dealing with the advanced stages of Hepatitis, this guy described himself as being long past “his time”.  He shared with us the reality of a divorce, disease, bad decisions, jail and watching people die.  He proudly showed us pictures of his tomato plants and kept pointing our attention to a very simple picture that he had drawn on the sidewalk using chalk.  As the three of us stood there talking to him, the Lord used our gifts in very different but very clear ways.  The Truth of God was shared with him. 

As we got ready to leave, the musician requested that we listen to a song.  He sang about being lost and how we were sent to help him find his way (the fact that he had a compass tattooed on his arm brought even deeper meaning in my mind).  In exchange for letting him smoke another cigarette, one of the girls asked if we could pray with him.  We took turns praying…I went last and led him through an off-the-cuff version of the sinners’ prayer.  I was feeling very heavy and cried over this man who didn’t believe he would be alive in the morning.  As I looked up, tears were streaming down his face and he too began to pray.  We said our goodbyes and encouraged him to come to a dinner that was happening the next evening.  He left us with a very emotional exhortation to share what we shared with him with younger people.  He also told us to pay attention the next time we see a sign for lost dogs…he thought it was very important that we didn’t just walk by, but rather took notice to those signs we see advertising a lost dog.  

As we turned to walk away, I stopped and went back one more time.  This time answering a question he had posed to me very early in our conversation: “what is your best memory?”  I told him that my best memory was the day I realized I wasn’t alone, but that God was with me no matter what pain or hard time I faced.  He looked at me with tears welling up yet again and said, “That was a very good day”.  

I have no idea if this guy woke up this morning.  I have no idea if he is living another day, waiting to die, but I know that God moved last night.  A guy that we might have very easily overlooked (and almost did) carried with him the same heartache, confusion and pain that we (the girls) had spent the evening discussing – the difference was that he was facing the reality of death in a way that we never really consider…and he was facing it without the revelation of Christ.  Where he stands today, I do not know…but I do know that the Truth landed on his heart and broke through…what God did with that man in the time following our interaction is between the guy and God.  

His closing exhortation weighs heavily on my mind today.  “Don’t just pass by signs for lost dogs…stop and pay attention”.  We see these signs all over the place.  Lost dogs.  Lost cats.  Owners frantically seeking out their lost pets…pets that are more like family members than they are mere animals.  How many of those signs do we see?  How many do we stop and actually read?  

It’s the same with people you know.  There are so many people that we pass by every day.  So many are hurting far more than we could ever imagine.  So many are lost and wanting to find their way.  In Luke 15:4-7 Jesus shares this parable: 

“Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Does he not leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.’ I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent” 

We are surrounded by those that are lost and so many of them God is looking to reach.  We are the conduit through which He intends to reach them…if we are willing.  Even still, how many times do we actually take the time to stop and pay attention?  How often do we just walk on by?  

As the man tearfully pleaded, “don’t just walk by signs for lost dogs…stop and take a minute to pay attention”.  Don’t continue to walk through life, absorbed in your own little world.  Take a moment to notice the lost around you…take a moment to pay attention.  Don’t just walk by, stop and listen to their story.  Take a minute to pray with/for them…you’d be amazed at the power of God working in the heart of a “lost child” he’s trying to welcome home.  

“I will give you a new heart and will put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.  And I will put my spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees…you will be my people and I will be your God.” (Ezekiel 36:26-28)