At work today I had two different conversations that led to people asking about my life, my family…where I’ve come from.  I also had someone ask specifically how I went from being an atheist to a Christian.  These types of things don’t often come up, at least not at work.  As an educated and articulate woman, the outward appearance of my life doesn’t often reflect what I’ve come from.  Most would never know until they ask these deeper, more personal questions.  Sure, people know that I’m a Christian, but usually that’s because they know I do crazy things like spend my vacations serving in places like Haiti.  Or they know because of our debates on whether or not my conviction to only date Christian men is a “right” conviction or “too high of a standard”.  It’s rare in that environment that I’m able to provide context around why I feel so strongly that the life I live today is purely by the Grace of God.  The fact that I’m alive today and have the opportunities that I have is a direct reflection of God’s sovereignty, power and ability to change lives.  Today was a little different.  It was hard, because I never know what they’re thinking when I share my reality with them, but it was also pretty cool to live through the opportunity of sharing more with them.

Then, this evening I walked down to the docks to sit and chat with a friend.  While I was there another guy that I know just because he’s a local came over and sat with us.  This is a guy that I prayed for feverently for the first year or two that I lived in this neighborhood.  He’s a nice guy that I’d had random conversations with…about life and God and beliefs and what not.  The last time I saw him was about 2 months ago.  He walked by, and coldly ignored me when I said hi to him.  He had lost over 50 lbs.  From the looks of him, I knew he was shooting heroine.  I was sad that he ignored me, but sadder still at the realization of how much trouble he was in…drowning in his addiction.  Today he looked better.  He shared with us the fact that he’d been clean for 2 weeks.  My suspicions were correct from the last time I saw him, but he’s now going to meetings a few times a day, every day.  He’s still unsure of what higher being is over this world, but He is earnestly trying to get clean and stay that way.  Eventually,  our conversation led to how faithful God is and how much of a blessing life is…especially when we’re giving second chances…the second chance that he’s now starting to live in.  He recognizes the gift of life that he’s been given, and though he remains unsure of Jesus and the Lord,  I was so glad to talk to him and to celebrate his two weeks of sobriety.

Tonight as I was reading the Word and meditating on the day’s events, I was brought back to the idea of God’s faithfulness.  God is able to do so much in our lives…and with our lives…no matter the pit that we start from or find ourselves in.  God has literally built my life from ashes…despair, anger and regret.  I can see the power he has exhibited in my life and so many lives of the brothers and sisters I meet.  Conviction sneaks in as I realize the steadfastness of his love and my lingering doubt of what God can and will do in this life.  Sometimes it’s difficult to believe God for what he is currently doing, when we can’t see the finished product before our eyes.  yet we must!  Hebrews 11 states it this way:

“Faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen” 

After reading this tonight my ADHD eyes shot up a few lines prior to Hebrews 10 where I read this:

“Therefore brothers, since we have confidence to enter the holy places by the blood of Jesus…and since we have a great priest over the house of God, let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith with our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water.  Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering for he who is promised is faithful.  And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works not neglecting to meet together as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.” (vs. 19-25)

We have a God who is so faithful, loving, and forgiving.  He has been at work in our lives and continues to move in accordance with his pleasure and will.  He desires to bless those who continually seek him earnestly (Heb. 11:6).  It may be difficult to believe him when the resolve seems no where in sight, but as the one who stands unchanged…His past faithfulness in our lives serves as an indicator that He who began a good work in us will continue it to its full completion (Phil 1:6).  When unbelief sets in, how rewarding it is to remember and praise him for the Work we have already seen him complete…may that stir us on to believe for those things not yet seen in their completed form…as Hebrews 11:1 states…THIS is faith.

“for the mountains may depart and the hills be removed, but my steadfast love shall not depart from you and my covenant of peace shall not be removed says the Lord, who has compassion on you.” (Isaiah 54:10).  

And this is just the inward tension that exists for singles

As singles learn to deal with their own inward madness they are also watching everyone around them getting hitched.  You know those “hitched” friends… the ones who continually tell their single friends “as soon as they became content in their own singleness” or as soon as they “had given up looking for or thinking there was someone out there for them” God brought their spouse.   And so the outward social pressure begins to take effect.  The hitched friends, grow in number, eventually to the point where the number of single people are very small in comparison, leaving the single with a heightened awareness of their relationship status.

THEN, the marrieds outnumber the singles so much that as soon as they see Single Person A (SPA) and Single Person B (SPB), and without knowing anything at any depth of either two single people, they suddenly make a huge deal over the fact that SPA and SPB are both single and therefore should obviously be interested in each other and get married next week.

The married’s swarm around SPA and/or SPB and begin to talk up the other SP, putting ideas into their heads about how great the other is, and how cute they look together…meanwhile SPA and SPB may not have even said one word to each other.  And when probed even further, SPA or SPB draws out the reality that  the marrieds are just really excited at the idea that 2 singles would become a married…they don’t actually know SPA, SPB or maybe they don’t really know either of them!!

First let me say that I write out this rant smiling completely.  I know that people love- love.  People (especially those who have already found their ”one”) love to see others fall in love and get married.  They also feel for the tension and loneliness that singles feel and want to see them happy with the mate that the SP longs for. Played out, this looks like a lot of talk and “encouragement” for things to happen without really knowing the unique qualities and traits/character of the two single people – you know…those very things that often can make or break relationships in the long run.

But there are a few things that I think SP must be mindful of in the midst of this kind of external pressure:

In our lives, we are called to serve and bring glory to God. I believe that part of how we are used in this capacity is divinely authored by the Lord we serve.  It can be administered during our single years, by remaining single, or by getting married.  Whatever way, the administrator of this is God and the timing of transitions between those life phases belongs to him as well.

Marriage is not the pinnacle of Christian Experience here on earth. There is much that one will learn in relationship with others, so, if it is an interest or desire in our hearts, certainly we should not close ourselves off from building friendships and being open to opportunities and people who are in our midst.  But being married isn’t the end all be all to life.  While most will get married in their lifetime, many are also called to live a single life, which Paul also talks about  in 1 Corinthians 7.  Churches should support singles, encouraging them to move forward in life (enabling and equipping them to prepare for relationship and marriage), but should not do so at the detriment of their ability to embrace where God has them today.  I bring up this idea because I think we are often off balance…clinging to one of the two extremes when talking to singles.    Singleness is good, marriage is good…bring more balance in how this is preached to singles…and perhaps they too will begin to secure balance as they work with God on this particular area of their life.

Outward Pressure pushing friends into relationship is not always healthy. I think that, sure, sometimes people need a little encouragement to make themselves available and prepare themselves to have relationships, but I don’t think it’s healthy for people other than the two entering into a relationship to prayerfully decide that the relationship is a “good idea”.  Not all singles were meant for each other and not all “christian” relationships are good relationships.  The pressure I joked about above will often make the situations and interactions between said single people rather fuzzy.  Because of the peer pressure, they may overlook clear incompatibilities, they may rush into a relationship that either isn’t ordained or isn’t the right timing.  This external pressure can also perpetuate the lie that many singles often inwardly (and secretly) believe that something is wrong with them because they’re still single (or that if another of the opposite sex is still single, there must be something wrong with them).  Their response is to often act immediately (thinking all opportunities are the best or right opportunities) so that they can fix their singleness problem.  Singles make enough poor decisions around relationships (jumping into, running from) due to their own internal pressures that they feel…they really don’t need the outward pressures from friends and family members who love – love and are having a hard time that SPA or SPB is still single at their ripe old age of 27!!

I think relationships are both beautiful, difficult and serious, especially if you view them with an intentionality toward marriage.  Being single is difficult enough as it is in the Christian community.  And the difficulty only increases with age.  There are ways to encourage singles in your midst in a very healthy way…get to know them, be open and honest in accountability-type relationships with them…even if they’re not married (it will teach them a lot, and some singles are actually wise), encourage them and pray with them if they do meet someone they like and are intentionally getting to know…but please, please don’t start playing CUPID…encouraging situations and relationships just for the sake of changing their relationship status.  The latter just isn’t fair…no matter how deeply that person longs for their spouse.

1.  A Boyfriend and girlfriend go to taco bell.  They drive up to order and the girl mentions to the guy that she might want one or two of his nachos.  He refuses to share and instead buys her a whole order of nachos.  She’s now forced to eat all the nachos when all she really wanted was one.  or three. 

2.  A husband and wife sit down at a restaurant.  He orders onion rings.  She reaches for one, he slowly inches the basket away from her and orders her another order of onion rings.

3.  A son makes a sandwich.  His mom, who carried him for 9 long months, isn’t hungry enough for her own whole sandwich, but rather just wants to try one bite of what he made…she takes a bite.  (1 Point for the Mom).  9 long months…the least he can do is offer one bite of a sandwich.  Right?

Now I have to ask, are these women moochers?  All they want is a bite of the food…or two or three chips.  Clearly they aren’t moochers, they are connecting, encouraging wise spending, and providing opportunities for those men to be more like Jesus.  Let me explain.

1.  CONNECTORS – I work in a male dominated industry.  One thing that I’ve learned is that the way to a man’s heart, mind, attention, and sometimes even respect, is through his stomach.  I’m not sure why this is, but food, for men…is a big deal.  Women on the other hand, long to feel connections.  We will spend hours talking and spending time with our girlfriends as a means of connecting.  Sometimes it’s difficult for women to feel connected to men.  They don’t always share their emotions and they don’t always want to talk about important things like The Bachelorette or shoes or PMS.  What better way for a woman to feel connected to her man than for him to share a little bit of his food?  If food is a way to a man’s heart then if he shares it with you, without argument or forcing you to eat an entire order on your own, is a clear and distinct indication of your priority in his life.  And at the end of the day, love should transcend the 5 french fries that us women take off the guys plate.  Men, when we ask for a bite…we’re not mooching, we’re providing opportunities to connect with you.   

2.  ENCOURAGERS OF WISE SPENDING – While some may say two is better than one, I would say it’s also more expensive.  Sharing a few onion rings with the lady next to you is ultimately far less expensive (and not just monetarily).  Aside from saving money, sharing is also less wasteful than getting a second order and having her leave all but the 5 or 6 bites that she ultimately takes from this entirely separate order that the guy has now forced her to tackle.  furthermore, there are starving children in the world…and we’ve just wasted an entire blooming onion because the guy couldn’t share those 7 or so bites with his lady friend.  By sharing you eat less (maybe I should have included obesity in this list), you save money, and you are not wasteful.  I think it makes perfect sense…and the man is not going to go hungry by sharing.  Clearly this isn’t mooching…it’s helping, as women are called to do for their men.  We “help” them save money and finish all the onion rings in the basket.

3.  WHAT WOULD JESUS DO - The final consideration is that by sharing with the women, men are able to walk as Jesus did.  The bible says that, specifically within the context of marriage, men should love their wives as Christ loved the church.  And how did Christ love the hungry church?  He didn’t send them off, he didn’t tell them to go find their own fish.  NO!  He provided and shared what He had with them.  And guess what happened?  Everyone ate and was content…no one went hungry.  When a woman is simply asking for a bite or two, it’s a perfect opportunity for the men to respond as Jesus did.   

A disclaimer for those “un-married men” who might be reading.  Just because you’re not married doesn’t mean that you can’t begin to act out this kind of service when it comes to all the yummy food that you have.  The best predictor for future behavior is present and past behaviors.  Certainly there are examples, but start practicing today for the wife that God brings your way.  When your mom or sister or girlfriend goes in for that 7th or 8th onion ring…don’t slap her hands.  Don’t force her to order her own…you can practice being like Jesus and sharing with her…it will be a beautiful act of love, it will ultimately save you money and you will connect in new ways and trust me, you will not go hungry.  

I think that in ultimately women are not moochers.  We nurture and encourage the growth of our men and our relationships.  When we say we only want a bite…that’s really all it is.  We ask for one onion ring or french fry… we never really take more than 9 or 10.  Guys…love the women in your lives.  They are not moochers.  They are wise, conscious, and usually just a little hungry, but never enough to get their own of anything.  Please just share, after all those same women are notorious for bringing home tons of leftovers (we never finish our food anyway) and you will almost always have first dibs.  Just sayin’.

Note:  This is ”tounge-in-cheek” response to Bill Petruzzo’s rant on women being the ultimate moochers.  It can be read here.

Did you know that 1 out of every 3 people that access adult websites are women?

Did you know that 9.4 million women access adult sites each month?

Did you know that almost 20% of all women struggle with pornography (this equates to 1 out of every 5 or 6 women)

And you probably wouldn’t know any of this because about 70% of those women who are struggling with pornography are keeping their activities a secret.

My question is, if the statistics are so clear on whether or not women struggle with this, why has the church, for the most part, not yet addressed this issue?  For the last nine years I have sat in churches and listened to pastors speak about sin and temptation.  Whenever pornography is thrown out there it is always addressed to the men!  And what I mean is explicitly saying, “men…pornography…etc, etc, etc.”  When pornography is addressed with women, it is most often in the context of their response to the struggles that their husbands have.

Some might argue that women and pornography should not be addressed from the pulpit, but rather in the context of a women’s ministry.  Okay, I disagree…I think all sin, if it is being addressed from the pulpit, should not be spoken of or referenced as only applying to some people.  We are all filled with struggles, temptations, and sins of all types.  Why present them to the people attending as if it only applies to one specific type of person?  What about that one person who is not part of that select group, but carries the same struggle?  Do we lead them to believe that they are alone in this struggle?  Because that’s just what happens.  It breeds a sense of isolation and shame…which inevitably causes those struggles to become deep buried secrets in their lives…and when it’s buried deep, in secret, the potential for it to continue or even grow is granted.

Even in the context of women’s ministries, I have not seen this issue addressed adequately.  A few years ago I was asked to help facilitate a 1 day women’s conference.  The idea was to bring women together, young and old, to discuss ideas that are relevant to our identities in christ.  I was a youth leader at the time so I lead the breakout session for the pre-teens and teens.  My co-facilitator had the breakout session for the older women.  During her session she brought up the topic of pornography and masterbation.  Several of the more outspoken women in the group were not at all receptive, and actually repulsed by the idea that she felt the need to address those issues with them.  What?  Really?  I am discouraged to say that this attitude is only perpetuated by the church’s (as a whole) choice to only view pornography in a “men’s issue” vacuum.

The most discouraging aspect of the church not taking initiative or living in a bubble on this issue is that studies reveal that while less women than men are viewing pornography, the women are far more likely to act out on these temptations, engaging in sex with several partners, causal sex, and even affairs.  If the issue is not addressed, the church is only perpetuating the shame for those women who do struggle.  I have talked to many women about this…feeling alone, filled with shame, confused and stuck in their struggles.  Since it is not addressed, there seems, for them, to be no avenue for honesty about their sin, outlet to discuss and find accountability.

The reality is the statistics point to the fact that the one woman sitting in the church on sunday morning knowing her struggle is not as alone as she feels.  The pastor may be speaking about pornography to the men in the room, but she is not alone in her struggle.  She needs to know, as we all do with our private struggles, that she is not the only one…and that there is freedom and strength available to her first from God and second from a community of sisters that may not yet know what they can do for each other.

Why has the church not yet opened up this possibility for the women in their congregations?

Several years ago I went to Ghana to speak with teens about God.  During that time I had probably 20 or 30 different girls come up to me specifically asking for prayer over their interest in (and in some cases addictions to) pornography.  All of them told me that they had no one that they could talk to about this.  I think they came to me because I was a Godly women, but also a stranger, a person who did not know them well enough to judge them and would not be there long enough to ostracize them.  These were teenagers!  And I’m telling you, it’s not an isolated experience in Ghana…it is just as prevalent here on the home front.

I’m just venting this because after years of being in the church, discussions with other women and men…I realize that many if not most will voice the opinion that women are immune from pornography.  It’s a lie and I wish there was more of an avenue for these struggles to be worked through for women.  I think the starting point would be for the church to acknowledge and accept and “preach” the reality that sin and temptation does not attack based on race or gender, but that we are all susceptible…and we all have the same God who has sent His Son.  We all have access to transformation, regardless of what the struggle is…and regardless of who we are, man or woman.

Paul writes this prayer for the saints just after he has laid out his summary of what exactly our past election and future perfection entails.  It is for the reasons he laid out in the preceeding 14 verses that He is praying for us.  Because it’s true, he knows it and wants us to know it too.

The funny thing with these “truths” though.   Most of us know them…well.  We can cite and explain them.  We learned them in sunday school and have shared them with others.  Yet, so often we live our lives as if we’ve never heard them before.  Our lives (the emotions, the behaviors, and that unruly flesh) have not caught up with our intellect.  ”For this reason” Paul prays.

As we begin to know and grow in an understanding of our knowledge of God transformation happens.  The truth of what was, what is, and what is to come ushers in a hope that will keep us fighting strong until the day of Glory.  The entire point of that hope is an expectation of the completion of God’s promise.  Followers of Christ have been bought into a covenant relationship with their creator.  And so clear throughout scripture is God’s remembrance and fulfillment of the covenants he established.  If it were granted, given, finished today hope would be unnecessary.

In Romans it is written:

“Hope that is seen is no hope at all.  Who hopes for what he already has? (Rom. 8:24)

We have been invited into something so glorious that our minds fail to fully comprehend, yet Paul prays that we might come to know the hope of what is available to us today and for eternity.  As life throws curve balls, disappointments, pain, disaster, and confusion we must rely on a growing sense of hope to pull us through.  It is the key to fighting strong and ending well.

I would say that while we know these truths…and intellectually we may “hope” for what God promises, many of us get hit by life and allow the great accuser to sit at our sides, pulling out whatever tiny glimpse of light that may remain in those moments.  We are miserable, unhappy, absorbed in all that isn’t right.  YET 2000 years ago, God ordained that Paul would know enough to know that we needed this prayer.  Not only did he say it…it ended up in scripture for us to read and meditate upon today.

Paul’s prayer is a for those of us who are tempted to live spiritually desolate lives.  He, through the authority of God, prays that we would instead walk daily with an appropriate understanding of the inheretance to which we are called…and that hope would grow and keep us moving forward with that understanding.

There are many things in life that I have hoped for and do hope for.  I’m not going to say that God will grant us every wish and desire, but I know that a right hope in Him and what He will provide for us here on earth and eternally in Heaven is essential to our daily walk.

What do I hope for?  For a husband, a family, to see the world and see others find freedom in Christ.  I have many others…my list could probably be a mile long if I wanted to type (or thought that people would read for that long).  I hope because I do not have.  What do you hope for with all of your heart?  Think of those things…and pray that God might increase your hope in Him to meet and then exceed those hopes.  What he holds for us is an eternal inheretance…something more precious than gold…something well worth hoping for.  I am challenging myself to do the same…I am confident that God will meet those requests for all of us.

1.  You may never know what the other person is really thinking – To me this is very, very scary.  It comes from watching Frank and his 180 “change of heart” as soon as he was chosen for the final 3.  From the first one-on-one date, I thought for sure he was into Allie.  I also thought he was rather insecure and wasn’t really rooting for him to get the final rose.  Nonetheless, I thought he would fight for her until the end.  I never would have expected him to pull the “I’m in love with someone else card” at that point in the show.  He surprised/fooled EVERYONE!!!  But because he pulled it off so well, and was able to walk away from Allie like he did, it makes me realize that it is possible to never really know what’s going on in someone else’s mind – whether good, bad, or indifferent.  Translation = we might not be the best mind readers.  Translation = they might not be the best mind readers or hint receivers.

I think in some ways these shows can provide insight into the selfishness that permeates our being and how it can and will hurt those around us.  Albeit Frank is a specific and possibly extreme example, we are all selfish to some degree or another and it can even manifest itself in the forms of self-preservation, insecurity, manipulation and deceit.  In this season especially, it all points to one thing: the value of communication.  So much pain could have been avoided if he had been honest from the beginning.  But he wasn’t.  In the same way the special people in our lives may not know what we’re thinking or feeling.  We may think they know, but chances are, if we haven’t told them, we’re probably not 100% on the same page.  We might think we are, but who really reads minds these days anyways?  Instead of leading people on when we’re not interested, or allowing insecurity to brew by not affirming the relationships we’re in…what if we just told the person what we’re thinking or shared where we’re at today?  Sure pain might be felt, risks might be taken when you put yourself out there saying, “these few weeks have been really hard”, “hey, I really like you, You make me happy.”  ”It felt really good today when you did this…”, but when communication is pushed aside…how can a relationship or the people therein grow?  And I think ultimately that’s what people in serious relationships want…growth, commitment, possibly marriage, etc…right?

2.  Reality shows aren’t as “real-life” as we want them to be - This comes, one from watching, sometimes painfully, the romances unfold over the 18 episodes that have aired so far and two from watching the interview with Vienna and Jake, last season’s couple that recently broke off their engagement.  The show is intense.  Competition is high, the dates are fairy-tale like, and the pressure of the show and having to “win their heart” and accept a rose brings an intensity and excitement to the budding relationships that no average-joe (or Jolene) can rival.  I fear, that similar to Vienna and Jake (and many others) the show ends, real life sets in…there are no helicopter rides over Tahiti, cave diving in iceland, olive oil wrestling between your man and all his very attractive buds…at least not on your “average”, every-day date.  The cameras turn off.  They get comfortable, faults start to surface…and suddenly the “passion” (or so they call it) is gone.  The show is more like a high-pressure, fairytale romance than it is “reality TV”…there’s not much “real” about it.

Women around the country gather around their TV weekly to watch this show.  In the end they are left longing for their own Chris or Roberto.  For those in a relationship, they look to their mates and begin pouting because they don’t seem to measure up to these ideal men that have been portrayed by ABC’s hit series.  Beautiful people, beautiful scenery, and a very intense, uber-passionate, seemingly perfect relationship is not the way most relationships start or survive.  As a woman, a day-dreamer, hopeless romantic and high-expectation setter it is very tempting to look at this show and begin to expect nothing less.  And if I can admit this, I know that thousands of other women are under the same, unrealistic, spell.  SNAP OUT OF IT!!

I remember when the idea of the bachelor/bachelorette was new.  I watched the first season and was sucked in.  This time around, however I don’t know if I really found it all that enjoyable.  Sure, I watched it all (it’s a great way to do something mindless, which I need from time to time)…and I’ll watch the final episode (I have to know who she picks), but I also wasn’t fooled by the craziness…not this time.  And I hope, in the long run, my relationship will benefit from my resistance to buy into all that The Bachelorette is trying to sell.

This weekend (I was right around episode 16…just before Frank dumps Allie) I spent an afternoon with my boyfriend.  There were no helicopter rides, no picnics under the Hollywood sign, no travels to other countries.  I don’t think more than $15 was spent to make the afternoon happen, including gas (who says you have to drop a lot of cash to have a good time?).  Yet, it easily made its way into my top times spent with him for reasons that I shared with him.  Those reasons can’t be forced, staged, or faked in a heart shaped hot tub…it was just us…real and natural.  Similar to moments many of us have, but often miss because we’re too busy looking for our Pretty Woman ending and bachelorette style intense dates and craziness.

I’m not sure how insightful this post is…i guess it’s been on my mind.  After all, 18 episodes is a lot to watch in a short time…and I think it’s probably time for me to get a new hobby

I just started a personal study through Ephesians.  It’s the start of day 3 and I’m enjoying it quite a bit.  Last night and into this morning I find myself thinking about Paul compared and contrasted to myself.  Let me explain…

Unlike all the other letters written by Paul to the churches, the book of Ephesians does not address a specific situation happening in that church.  The message of this letter is much more of a generic, but eternally significant teaching on Christ and Praise to God for what he has done.  The interplay of Christian faith and the Christian life is an essential theme in this book.  It is a big picture view of Christ’s sacrifice for us on the cross and the way that impacts the entirety of our lives.

The interesting thing about Paul and his producing of this letter is that he writes it while he’s a prisoner in Rome.  No, he’s not locked up behind bars in some jail…I believe he’s actually on house arrest…and quite possibly handcuffed to a Roman solider (I mean its not like they had those spiffy little electronic ankle bands that would alert to Romans of his departure from the home he was confined to!).  He is a prisoner.

When thinking about the over-arching message of Ephesians, it’s interesting to note that Paul produced it while his earthly circumstances were quite troubling.  His body was imprisoned and chained, yet his heart and mind were free and focused on Eternal matters – the things of God – specifically, our past election and future perfection.

I can’t help but realize that I stand here today a free woman.  Not so is true of everyone in the world, but most of us (especially if you are reading this today) are “free” in a physical or bodily sense.  Yet, unlike Paul, our minds are held captive by the daily ins and outs of our day.  We may set our sights on eternal things, but the focus is momentary.  We are easily and quickly distracted by the “to dos”, “to sees”, burdens, and worries of our every day.  A Godly perspective, unfortunately, is easily frosted over by our present reality, which often challenges the freedom that should accompany our earthly and eternal reality in Christ.

“For this light momentary afflication is preparing for us and eternal weight of glory beyond all comparision, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen.  For the things that are seen are transient, but the things unseen are eternal.”  (2 Cor. 4:17-18)

“If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God.  Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth.  For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God” (Colossians 3:1-3)

I wonder if we were to cling to that perspective, if the gospel were to take precedence in such a way that it no longer continued as an afterthought, how might we live?  How might I live.  How might we love?  Where would Grace dwell in our responses to others and to ourselves?  I can’t help but hope that things would be different.  Actually, I know they would…perspective is everything.

How do you live?  I live as a prisoner.  My chains are gone, the jail cell is open, but I sit there motionless.  Partly because it’s comfortable…partly because I don’t know how to live a the free person Christ enables me to live.  Focusing on God and the Truth of His Gospel is the only thing that can make me stand and walk…and I might be able to if I could keep that focus for longer than a few mere moments.

Perhaps I am alone in this, but I don’t think I am…

Facebook is great for networking, reconnecting, and keeping up to date with friends or events that are happening around you.  But sometimes I wonder if it does too good of a job at keeping people “connected”.  You see for me, if I get bored I will sometimes find myself scrolling through photos of people I haven’t talked to in months or even years.  I read and re-read their updates on my home page.  I can see who’s leaving wall comments to whom.  I know which friends will update their statuses 5 times in one day and I know who, if they update twice in one week, is living on the edge, so to speak.  For a while it’s fine, but eventually something really scary happens…

I start to notice that Sally or Jim are talking to Bob more than they talk to me on facebook.  I notice that they will respond to or “like” things that Bob posts whereas they never “like” the things I post.  In the world of facebook, Bob would be their #1…I would be their #260.  It’s stupid.  I take a break, open a new tab on my computer and start stumbling to find the next most awesome webpage, picture or link to post to my (or someone else’s) wall…hoping that I’ll get a few “likes” out of the deal…and perhaps even a like from Sally or Jim…which is really what I’m after, if I’m being 100% honest.  Eventually I get back on my home page and start to notice all the conversations going back and forth that I’m not part of.  A little bit of jealously may start to form…my awesome link didn’t generate the “like” revenue I had hoped for.  If I’m being 100% honest, I’m crushed…just a little. 

By now, the start of a few ill feelings toward Sally and Jim are coming to the surface- what is this and why am I responding this way?  News Flash Ames!!  Even though you have 500 friends according to facebook, you’re really not that popular.  I mean, my profile is filled with stuff that I myself have posted to my own wall.  I have my status updates, I have my random videos and songs that I’m enjoying…and maybe one wall comment left for me by someone I haven’t talked to in months.  But I have 500 friends who want to know about my daily musings, read my notes, and see the pictures that I’m tagged in?

And then there’s Sally and Jim…my “best friends”.  I hang out with them, talk to them on the phone regularly, but in the world of facebook…it’s as if we’re complete strangers.  I’m just one of their 400 “friends”, but no one would know.  Especially not those other 399 friends who are watching their homepages anxiously waiting to see the news updates for what exactly Sally and Jim are up to and whether or not they’re going to talk to Amy today.  Nope…”If there’s no activity on facebook, the friendship must be a fluke”.  (and yes, I used quotes because one of my 498 other friends actually said that exact thing to me!  I can’t say who, but if I had it recorded, I would’ve posted it on youtube…and then linked that from my wall…I bet that would get me a “like” or two).   

Note: I’m not jealous…this is really about how Facebook bridges ”friends” only to tear apart our real friendships and self-esteems.  #260…are you kidding me?  I’m so much better than #260!     

The ill feelings grow…I can’t shake it.  I check my homepage for the 10th time today…still nothing from Sally and Jim.  But I do have a “like” from Bob.  DAMMIT!!  I don’t want Sally and Jim’s #1 to “like” my newest wall post…especially when they’re still treating me like their #260.  Screw that!  Screw Facebook!! 

It’s not the Friend that it pretends to be…It builds me up with a  ”friend stock” of 500, only to tear me down when I uncover the reality of my wall’s activity (which only has activity because of me!).  The killer is that stupid Facebook-smacebook has so permeated my daily routine that I can’t break the cycle of checking my homepage and reading through the updates.  Sure, it was fun at first, now it’s just a semi-continuous stream of slaps-in-my-face.  I sign in and facebook laughs at me…one because I check it every day…and two because I’m not the popular person my friends list might lead you to think I am.  I start to feel sorry for myself and angry at my 500 friends.  

Who am I?  When did I start to care so much?  When did facebook-driven affirmation become such a huge influence on my self image? 

At the end of the day, I turn to my only true refuge.. my semi-anonymous blog.  It doesn’t lie to me.  I have maybe 4 readers, but that’s okay…my blog never tried to make me think there were more than 4 readers out there.  It has yet to falsely pump up my ego.  My blog is my friend…I like to call him “my soapbox”, although that’s not the title of my blog page.  It’s a nickname…just between me and my blog (close relationships have that…best friends…boyfriends & girlfriends, spouses, etc).  

Hello, my name is Amy and I’m addicted to meaningless and relatively irrelevant status updates (my blog never gave me that much “real time” change before).  I open my homepage and scroll through one last time.  I know I will see Sally and Jim’s activity…especially with that douche Bob, but it’s like a drug…it’ll hurt me once I start checking, but I HAVE to check 

Will I ever have the balls to un-friend facebook?  Probably not.  I can logout for the last time tonight, but that will only last until tomorrow. 

*Sigh* 

Maybe I need new friends, or maybe I’m just a masochist at heart (ooohhhh….status update!  yesssss!!)

A more Serious comment – If you haven’t watched it, you should definately check out the South Park Episode about Facebook.  It’s really hilarious

I’m shutting down and closing in
I’ve lost sight of my best friend
I want to stay, pain pulls me away
taking me to a far off land
or maybe an hour’s drive, just so I can think
where in a rocking chair the sun will set
and this rendez-vous with loneliness
will  finally be my choice
or so I can pretend.

You give them their food in due season.

Hunger and being fed are illustrations that everyone can relate to…the bible is filled with them.  When I read this, however, I was struck by when the writer says God will give the food.

In due season – meaning at the appropriate time.

The food is not given when the hunger arises, it’s given when the time is right.

Have you ever desired something so much, but continue to go on as if the need is being ignored?  Have you asked for something and recieved no answer?  Do you hunger for something and never have that hunger filled?

I have.

And this just makes me think…perhaps God fills hunger, not because the hunger exists, but because it became time for the hunger to be satisfied.  There is something painful in the implications that this has on waiting when we’re “hungry”, but there is also something beautiful in there as well.

If the deliverance of food has purpose in it’s timing, does that mean that the days spent hungry as also purposeful…building up and preparing for that hunger to finally be satisfied.  I would think so.

Abba, I have been hungry for a long time…and wandering in this valley for a long time.  I want it to be “in due season” today.  please grant me the strength and hope for that seasons arrival, and prepare me for the works that lie ahead.
Please feed my hunger and fill those desires…

soon.