I’ve never told anyone “the right one will come when you least expect it” or “the one will show up when you take a break.” Here’s the deal: I can’t see anywhere in the Bible where that is promised. If anything, it seems Paul is more inclined to recommend against marriage and only provides “rules” and roles for marriage if you are unable to resist it for whatever reason. This is probably not very encouraging, and I’m sorry.

But one thing remains true: the people I know who are committed to Christ in spite of the desires of their heart/flesh are those who most often are able to make the deep impacts on the people around them. You, for example. My friend Jen from VA. A multitude of others. It is submission and the idea of “it’s not about me” that elevates Christ and allows Him to shine through you and exposes Him to others. There is incredible value in that.

Anyway, I just echoed a lot of what your blog already says. I really enjoyed reading this and hope I can take away your advice for context and encouragement and apply it.

I certainly didn’t mean for the selfish motives to come across that extreme. I intended to be more of a realization that selfish motives are in the mix. I certainly agree with what you’ve said…thanks for adding the clarification and pushing to idea a little further

I often get those comments from friends too. Even if what they say is true, it’s not helpful. My favorite analogy for the dating comments: I’m craving a piece of cheesecake. Is it helpful to tell me, “Once you stop craving that cheesecake, it’ll show up”?! No, it’s not.

Just one more thought– I wonder if your description of “selfish motives,” at the top of your post, is a little too black and white. Most actions come from a mix of selfishness and love, idolatry and honor. Mixed motives are the sad result of sin. I’m not sure I’ll ever have 100% pure motives for any of my actions. Let’s not allow bad motives stop us from doing good; instead let’s focus on loving and obeying the Lord–repenting and receiving grace when we fail. Sure, our flesh is weak, BUT the spirit is willing (and Amen for that!)

I have avoided the “sprouts” for such a long time…I always thought they would be nasty…its all a big lie, some sort of negative PR campaign against brussels sprouts. These things are amazing…
I actually wrote a whole “rant” about them on my site:

http://fedupfood.com/2012/01/27/the-big-lie-brussels-spouts/

I would agree with your thoughts on the internet, that’s why I’ve always been weary. This guy, was not an internet guy, but someone whom I knew from a tangible and face to face type context that evolved in what appeared to be a rather natural fashion. Fortunately or unfortunately my luck with guys is probably the biggest reason I’ve always put off online dating…even though most people I know encourage me to try it…this one just pushes back my decision to bite that bullet a little while longer. c’est la vie.