Tag Archives: church

Be Still…Know

Posted by Amy W in Christianity, life, Life Lessons From Church Planting and tagged with , , , , , , , ,

Life is sometimes a whirlwind.  Minutes quickly fade to hours and hours to days and days to months.  You wake up one morning and realize that in the very attempts to go through life, you forget what it is that allows you to truly live.

For months I found myself increasingly caught up in survival mode…”auto pilot”, as my pastor called it the other day.  Fall started out wonderful, school was good, church was good, work was changing, but good.  The pace picked up with the increasing changes.  Survival mode kicked in as I got really sick and tried to manage work + school.  Eventually in the hustle and bustle I either got way too busy, or a little disappointed in God that everything was hitting me at once.  Either way, everything was getting done, but the time between my talks with God grew longer and longer….  I was doing a lot…but somewhere along the way, in the course of months, I completely forgot to simply be.

We all go through these seasons of busyness.  Sometimes the distractions are truly distractions, but sometimes we get caught up in doing really good things – being responsible with our kids, our work, our school, and our church ministries.  We do, do, do…and we strive to do well.  What I find happens, however, is that in the race to do, we forget that first and foremost we must simply be.

In Psalm 46:10 we find this:

“Be still and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted on the earth. 

A few weeks ago, I ran off to a women’s retreat.  It was the first time in months that I had really allowed myself to just sit and absorb encouragement, truth, and wait for whatever God had to speak to me.  On Saturday afternoon, I went for a walk by myself to pray, confess, and just decompress everything that was happening in life.  Being on the water, I wandered down this old pier and stood at the end.  The sun was shining, a breeze was blowing…and I just stood there.  Music played from my iPod, but the only words I kept hearing was “be still”.

“Be still, Amy.  KNOW that I am your sovereign LORD.”

 I closed my eyes and stood there, still, for nearly an hour.  Today I wandered around the National Arboretum in DC.  It was beautiful and while I was with friends, I found myself lost in thought many times…always coming back to those same words that whispered to me on the pier a few weeks before.

Be still and know.

I strive. I fight.  I burn out.  Work continues.  Ministry and opportunity continue to grow…I look and want to understand what I can do to grow our prayer team.  How can I encourage those around me to seek the Lord and grow in their relationship with him?  I default to find things I can, could, would, should do…when really I need to LISTEN to this verse that keeps invading my brain and simply take the time to be still.  I need to be available to Him again, seeking His voice and His word, knowing full well how sweet His active presence is in our lives…sigh.

Love Today

Posted by Amy W in Christianity, Dating & Relationships, life, singleness and tagged with , , , , , , , , , , , ,

“A hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life”  ~Proverbs 13:12

I have quoted this verse many times.  It was my staple verse while I was surrendering Japan and missions in Japan…committing to God that I would hold that desire open-handed.  It comes to mind often when I talk to others.  This past weekend I shared it with someone in a conversation.  This morning another friend posted it as a status update on Facebook.

This afternoon I realized how relevant it was for me to ponder once again.  A co-worker pulled me aside to share with me a comment made by another co-worker on Friday.  A few people were standing around Friday talking about me and what I found out on Thursday.   You see, my co-workers were there when I got the flowers…and the fruit.  They were also there when I found the picture that exposed all the lies for what they really were.  I was not there for the talk, but apparently one of the guys made a comment about how much his heart went out to me  remarking that he had never seen anyone respond the way that I had when I carried the gifts from him up to my desk.

I know I was excited, but was it that different?  And if so, what made it stand out from other women’s reactions to these things?

After hearing this and continuing to have Proverbs 13:12 come to mind over and over today I realized that for me, at the time of receiving them, those flowers and things, carried a possibility for me of something that I have waited for so long to have.  I was so flippin’ happy.  I never got gifts delivered to work before!  Perhaps that joy and excitement was a small glimpse of what it feels like to have that one deferred hope finally fulfilled.  If so, I can’t wait to experience that hope fulfilled for real.  When backed by the hand of God and based on a foundation that is 100% true and right…

beautiful.

I hope these co-workers get to see that day, too.  They know how long I’ve waited and continue to wait.  Maybe somehow God would shine through it…and they would not just see a woman who is really happy, but that they would see my Father and his love…and His delight that comes in fulfilling the desires of our hearts in accordance with His purposes.  yes!

All of this is great and wonderful to think about, but what about today?  I mean, my hope is a little beaten up and still very deferred.  I sat at home for the first night alone, no homework, and no guy that’s going to call me on his drive to/from work tonight to talk and tell me goodnight.  My iPhone has gotten quiet.  It’s a little weird and I can’t help but wonder, now what?

I know I’m not the only one waiting and holding something open-handed.  I know several who are waiting and trusting for financial situations to clear, for a baby to be conceived, waiting and trusting for a job, and for a child to be healed.  Just because we wait does not mean that life has to stop.  Children’s author Louise Erdrich once said:

“Here I am, where I ought to be”

Today is happening and purposeful and not something to miss.   BUT instead of dreaming and waiting for the next big thing to come our way we can rejoice that today is incredibly purposeful, in spite of our own hopes deferred.  No matter what we are waiting for, life doesn’t happen once we finally get that thing we’re waiting to see…it is happening now.  We can wait for everything our hearts desire while also actively engaging in the present and all that God has before us today.

Surprised By Grace

Posted by Amy W in Life Lessons From Church Planting, women in ministry and tagged with , , , , , , ,

In about a week, my church will celebrate it’s one year birthday.  Though there was a growing team of people meeting for a little while longer than that, it was a year ago that they had the “launch service” – the service that marked the official start of the church.

I was there at the launch service – my first time at this new church.  I had been praying for changes in my life and, more specifically, a new church when a flyer showed up at my door.  I went that first week and have been going ever since.

This past weekend we had our church’s first Woman’s Retreat.  We had space for 30 women to go, and after some last minute cancellations and fill-ins we arrived at the site with 29 women + 1 speaker.

Even though this was my first ever retreat for women, I ended up being part of the planning team.  My responsibility was to prepare a prayer room (which also meant encouraging the prayer team ladies to sign up and help pull something together) and then at the last minute was asked to be a discussion group leader  when another was unable to fill the slot.  Immediately after the first planning meeting, the prayer team started praying for the event and for the ladies that God would be bringing this weekend.

Leading up to the retreat, our prayer team came up with some ideas for the prayer room and we scrambled together supplies.  By 3 PM Friday, we were at the house.  We walk in the door only to realize that the prayer room is an open space just off the main entrance filled with a hot tub and exercise equipment.

As we started processing the difficult situation before us, I thought of a dear friend who loved the quote, “when life gives you lemons, make lemonade” and encouraged the team that we can still make this space work if we get a little creative.  We moved some of the exercise equipment out of the room, we rearranged the remaining pieces, plugged in a few night lights, and found 2 dividers to create “walls” where none existed.  When the prayer room opened that night, it actually turned out to be a pretty decent space.  Once we were done setting up, the prayer team walked the entire house praying over spaces, rooms, and each attendee by name.

Later that night the guests arrive…and God starts to work.

Over the course of the weekend I saw girls engaged in conversations, connecting, laughing, and relaxing.  We were encouraged and challenged by our wonderful speaker.  In discussion groups, the women opened up and “got real” about what was going on in their life and what God was (or wasn’t) doing.  Tissues went flying, we cooked too much food, and I think we even got a complaint called in to the local authorities because we were being “way too loud” during worship.

Sunday afternoon, I was the last person to use the prayer room.  I sat there praying and praising, feeling completely overwhelmed by what God had done:

  • Women who I know have been seeking community and feeling like they “don’t fit in” sincerely connected with at least 1 new person, if not more on this trip.
  • Several women had very deep and personal encounters with God…the Holy Spirit was so evident by Sunday morning’s worship session that you could taste it.
  • I “peeked in” on the prayer room several times over the weekend to see women praying, having their devotional, and partaking in the prayer room activity.
  • We didn’t have Sunday morning discussion groups, because by the end of the talk and worship time, 2 women had decided that they wanted to get baptized.  Everyone ran out to watch and celebrate on the beach together.  One of these women gave me the honor to be one of the two to go in the water to baptize her.

By Sunday night I found myself overwhelmed again as I saw the connections and comments flying across the walls of the ladies’ Facebook pages.  (oh the movements of His hand may I never miss…)

I think it’s funny to know God and have faith in God, but then find ourselves surprised by what He actually does in different situations.  Months ago I confessed how scared I was that I might not be able to do what He had called me to do.  I am continually brought back to God’s exhortation to Moses that the fruit of his obedience would be a sign to him that God has sent him.  This weekend I felt like I saw and was affirmed that God has not only brought me and others to this place for this time, but gave me a personal reminder of HOW BIG HE IS.  Sometimes God moves to show the unbelieving generations who he is…and at other times He moves to remind his children that he alone is God.

I left Sunday afternoon feeling a strong conviction that I need to obey him and be present in the service and ministry opportunities He has put before me, today.  Being obedient here and now will move me into whatever plans he has for me in 1 months, or 6 months or years into the future.  They may be different, or more of the same.  Regardless, if I focus too much on what may or may not lie ahead, I might miss the beautiful movement of his Hand today.   This weekend I saw His hand…and I am in awe at how good, tender, and completely faithful He is to His daughters.

As I reflect on all that happened, I find myself especially surprised by grace. You see, it is the grace that comes from Christ that enables us to stand as a co-laborer with Him, appointed to bear fruit for His Glory (2 Cor 6:1, John 15:16).  We are able to serve out a calling  (no matter how big or small it may seem) because of His Grace.  We do not deserve it, nor are we entitled to it…yet, we are allowed to experience it.

I am not in any way responsible for what happened this weekend, but I am tasting the sweet blessing that comes from the steps of obedience that have been placed before me and the team of people I serve with.  I don’t know if it is the culmination of months of praying and planning, or if it the simple realization that God is living and active today, either way this feeling…this “surprised by grace” place is one I hope to sit in for as long as He’ll let me.

Remembering My 20′s

Posted by Amy W in Jesus, life and tagged with , , , , , , , ,

“And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.” (Col. 3:17)

While in Haiti, and on reflecting after the trip, I have been challenged to bring more thanksgiving into my life.  I have a tendency to be a bit of a Negative Nancy, focusing of the bad…or expecting the bad, because sometimes I guess I think that’s all I’ll get…bad things.  As I enter into a new decade of my life (the 30′s), I feel that its only right for me to reflect on my 20′s praising God for the work he’s done in the past 10 years.  I was originally going to post this as a “high-low” of each year, but in light of the verse above, I’m going to focus on the “highs” – and for all of these items, the Glory goes to God.

20 years old (2001) – On September 2, 2001 God revealed to me the Truth of what His Son Jesus did for me, I came to Him and He gave me a new life (2 Cor 5:17) – and started this journey with Him, which has been absolutely amazing.  Hard at times, but always beautiful and for His Glory.

21 years old (2002) – 1st Missions Trip to Japan.  God opened my eyes and heart for His people…all His people, to the ends of the earth.  During this time he specifically broke my heart for the unreached in Japan. 

22 years old (2003) – Graduated College – By the grace of God I not only was able to go to college, but also graduated…and I had 2 job offers!!   I attended my 1st Urbana Conference.

23 years old (2004) – God opened my eyes to the idolatry that had consumed my life and connected me with a solid, missions minded church that would become a major influence on my development as a woman of God. 

24 years old (2005 ) – Mission Trips to Poland and Japan – It was during this time that God solidified my missionary heart and confirmed it through several people, without me even asking. 

25 years old (2006) – Accepted by an organization to do Church Planting in Japan.  Started a Missionary in training program with an awesome pastor at my church.  God “forced” me to go into counseling to deal with stuff that I had been avoiding my entire life – the result completely changed my understanding of who I was and the value I have as a Child of God.  I attended my 2nd Urbana Conference. 

26 years old (2007) – Went to Ghana in 2007.  Gave my first full message on the freedom we can find in Christ and prayed with many girls who wanted to know the freedom that God’s truth brings.  Became a Youth Leader and finished out the senior year of several amazing students that had been on the Ghana trip.  Finally believed that God’s love for me was unconditional.

27 years old (2008) – Spoke on the value of mentoring (Titus 2) at a woman’s seminar and helped to plan a women’s training event under the leadership of some awesome women at my church.  Applied to and was accepted to be part of a core team for a church plant that my church was sending out.  

28 years old (2009) – Started a church plant with a group of 28 others from my church.  Started my MBA program. Shared the gospel with a random man in my town with two of my friends.  Went to El Salvador to celebrate a friend’s wedding (she’s a missionary there). 

29 years old (2010) – Met regularly with a few girls to read God on Mute.  Started a prayer gathering with some awesome friends.  The group has changed from its beginnings, but we continue to meet to pray for friends, the world, and the churches working in our area.  God brought me to a new church and started to bring about some unexpected changes in my life. 

29 years old (2011) –  Went to Haiti on a Missions Trip and was reminded that my heart for the nations is still very much alive, even though He uses it in ways I didn’t expect when I planned my life several years ago (ha!).  God called me to start a prayer ministry at my church and He has brought together a group that I absolutely LOVE to pray with on a weekly basis.  Had several girls talk to me about doing a girls study or group for several of the women at my church.  We’re now going through Believing God this summer and I’m very excited for how we’ll all grow in our Faith. 

If someone told me this would be the life I would live in my 20′s, I would have laughed in their face.  Actually, someone did.  I was still an atheist at the time and I literally laughed in their face.  Praise God for lives that are radically changed through His Son’s sacrifice!!!  Walking with Him hasn’t always been easy, but looking back I can see clearly that God has been at work and I am so blessed to take a small part in what he’s been doing over the past 10 years.

I have no idea what my 30′s will bring.  He’s done crazy things with the last 10 years…I’m sure the next 10 will be just as Glorifying to His name.  I know many constants in my life are changing over the next year.  I will go to China in a little over a month.  When I return, I have 6 months left of my MBA.  Lord willing I will graduate in Feb 2012.  My company will complete its merger and the plant I work at will be sold.  This is where the unknown kicks in…there is so much that is not seen, but the possibilities of what God can do are endless…I just hope that He continues to allow me to be part of what He’s doing here on earth.  For now, He reveals just enough for me to take that next step.

“By faith, Abraham obeyed when he was called out to a place…he went out not knowing where he was going.” (Heb. 11:8)

Can We Trust God Beyond Our Strengths?

Posted by Amy W in Christianity, Devotional, life, Life Lessons From Church Planting and tagged with , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

The man asked, “Who am I, that you would ask me to do this?”

The Lord answered, “I will be with you and this will be a sign for you that I have sent you…”

“But Lord I am not eloquent…I am slow of speech and tongue”

The Lord replied, “who made your mouth?”

The man said, “please, Lord, send someone else”

The anger of the Lord kindled and he said, “Look there is your brother, he can speak well…he shall be your mouth”.

If you read my about me section, you will see that I have my Strengths Finder strengths listed.  I have pride in my personality result tests (I love them!) and this one I liked because it nailed areas that I consider strengths of mine.  Socially, the strengths-based ideology has spread in the past several years.  The premise behind it is that we are most effective when we work within our strengths.  It makes sense right?  Simply put – know what you’re good at and do it.  This line of logic implies the opposite as well: “don’t do or work in the areas that you’re not good at.”  For the most part I agree, it’s hard not to, right?  If you’re not good at it, doesn’t that increase your chances of failure?  And who wants to fail, really?

What happens, though, when we are facing a challenge or calling that is not something we feel confident in?  Maybe we can’t see the application of our top five strengths in the task at hand, or maybe we’ve just never done it before, so we’re not sure we can.  The Strengths Finder ideology doesn’t really advocate for success when we’re called out beyond our “strengths”.

As the Bible indicates, this was the case with Moses.  Above I’ve included a very abbreviated version of the dialogue between Moses and God as God was calling Moses to lead Israel out of Egypt (the full version can be read in chapters 3-4 of Exodus).  Moses had never done what God was asking him to do and even recognized that his inability to speak well could affect the work ahead.  I find it humorous, now, that God’s response was simply that He made Moses’s Mouth.  I mean, who more than the creator would know what Moses could or could not do with that speech impediment?  Can you relate?

At one point or another, many, if not all of us, will or have faced a calling or challenge or new job, and thought to ourselves, “God, clearly I can’t do this”?  I know I have.  Just yesterday I met with one of the pastors at my church to talk about the Prayer Ministry that we’re trying to establish.  I was excited during the conversation, but then later started to have what I fondly call “a Moses Moment”.  It was one of those times where, facing what I believe God has put before me, I began to think,

“God I can’t do this”. 

“God, I’m not creative…I’ll never come up with fun ideas that will get people motivated about prayer”. 

“And, who am I to tell anyone how to pray?  Do I even know how to pray?”. 

“Are you sure you want me?”

As I read the dialogue between Moses and God this morning, I resonated with Moses’s insecurity.  I think most of us can.  Take note of God’s first response in Chapter 3 vs. 12: “I will be with you, and this shall be a sign for you, that I have sent you”.  I think most Christians recognize that while here on earth we are to Glorify God.  He wants His truth to be known to the ends of the earth.  What I think we sometimes forget (that I had forgotten) is that He also continues to make Himself more fully known to us who already believe.  Of course God wants Israel to know him and believe He is who he is, but in this moment, God’s response wasn’t about the others…It was for Moses specifically and the potential growth of God’s reign and truth in his life.  In the end, the slight wavering of Moses’s trust in God’s calling brought Aaron into the journey.  On one hand, I see that regardless, God’s will was accomplished and the people of Israel came up out of Egypt.  On the other hand, I can’t help but wonder if, for Moses personally, there was a depth or insight or connectedness that was missed out on because He insisted that he couldn’t do what God had clearly called him to do.   I can only speculate that there was.

I don’t think we’re always called to do things we feel unequipped to do, but in the times that we are,  I would challenge us to reflect on Moses’s calling.  Just as God made his mouth, so too are we “fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14).  Even better than Gallup is able to identify our strengths or Myers Briggs is able to outline our personality traits, God knows us.  The Lord knows what we are really able to do with Him, and as Paul wrote to the Ephesians, “we are His workmanship, created in Christ to do good works, which [He] prepared for us in advance, that we should walk in them.” (ch. 2 vs. 10).

When God calls us, who are we to tell Him He has chosen the wrong person?  Look at God’s final response to Moses in Chapter 4…Moses’s disbelief made God angry.  I can’t believe that God takes this sort of thing lightly.  Clearly our salvation will not be removed when we falter like this, nor will it cause God’s love for us to change (2 Tim 2:13, Ex 15:13, Psalm 13:5 and 33:18).  God will still do what He’s going to do in the grand scheme of things.  But I also don’t think we should ignore that the scripture indicates that Moses refusal made God angry.

There are times when we jump into things we know we’re good at…there are other times God calls us to serve beyond what we think we have the strength to do or are best equipped to do.  In these times, if we trust and are faithful to His calling…we may stumble forward, but we will walk away upright knowing and praising what the Lord has done.