Tag Archives: Prayer

Surprised By Grace

Posted by Amy W in Life Lessons From Church Planting, women in ministry and tagged with , , , , , , ,

In about a week, my church will celebrate it’s one year birthday.  Though there was a growing team of people meeting for a little while longer than that, it was a year ago that they had the “launch service” – the service that marked the official start of the church.

I was there at the launch service – my first time at this new church.  I had been praying for changes in my life and, more specifically, a new church when a flyer showed up at my door.  I went that first week and have been going ever since.

This past weekend we had our church’s first Woman’s Retreat.  We had space for 30 women to go, and after some last minute cancellations and fill-ins we arrived at the site with 29 women + 1 speaker.

Even though this was my first ever retreat for women, I ended up being part of the planning team.  My responsibility was to prepare a prayer room (which also meant encouraging the prayer team ladies to sign up and help pull something together) and then at the last minute was asked to be a discussion group leader  when another was unable to fill the slot.  Immediately after the first planning meeting, the prayer team started praying for the event and for the ladies that God would be bringing this weekend.

Leading up to the retreat, our prayer team came up with some ideas for the prayer room and we scrambled together supplies.  By 3 PM Friday, we were at the house.  We walk in the door only to realize that the prayer room is an open space just off the main entrance filled with a hot tub and exercise equipment.

As we started processing the difficult situation before us, I thought of a dear friend who loved the quote, “when life gives you lemons, make lemonade” and encouraged the team that we can still make this space work if we get a little creative.  We moved some of the exercise equipment out of the room, we rearranged the remaining pieces, plugged in a few night lights, and found 2 dividers to create “walls” where none existed.  When the prayer room opened that night, it actually turned out to be a pretty decent space.  Once we were done setting up, the prayer team walked the entire house praying over spaces, rooms, and each attendee by name.

Later that night the guests arrive…and God starts to work.

Over the course of the weekend I saw girls engaged in conversations, connecting, laughing, and relaxing.  We were encouraged and challenged by our wonderful speaker.  In discussion groups, the women opened up and “got real” about what was going on in their life and what God was (or wasn’t) doing.  Tissues went flying, we cooked too much food, and I think we even got a complaint called in to the local authorities because we were being “way too loud” during worship.

Sunday afternoon, I was the last person to use the prayer room.  I sat there praying and praising, feeling completely overwhelmed by what God had done:

  • Women who I know have been seeking community and feeling like they “don’t fit in” sincerely connected with at least 1 new person, if not more on this trip.
  • Several women had very deep and personal encounters with God…the Holy Spirit was so evident by Sunday morning’s worship session that you could taste it.
  • I “peeked in” on the prayer room several times over the weekend to see women praying, having their devotional, and partaking in the prayer room activity.
  • We didn’t have Sunday morning discussion groups, because by the end of the talk and worship time, 2 women had decided that they wanted to get baptized.  Everyone ran out to watch and celebrate on the beach together.  One of these women gave me the honor to be one of the two to go in the water to baptize her.

By Sunday night I found myself overwhelmed again as I saw the connections and comments flying across the walls of the ladies’ Facebook pages.  (oh the movements of His hand may I never miss…)

I think it’s funny to know God and have faith in God, but then find ourselves surprised by what He actually does in different situations.  Months ago I confessed how scared I was that I might not be able to do what He had called me to do.  I am continually brought back to God’s exhortation to Moses that the fruit of his obedience would be a sign to him that God has sent him.  This weekend I felt like I saw and was affirmed that God has not only brought me and others to this place for this time, but gave me a personal reminder of HOW BIG HE IS.  Sometimes God moves to show the unbelieving generations who he is…and at other times He moves to remind his children that he alone is God.

I left Sunday afternoon feeling a strong conviction that I need to obey him and be present in the service and ministry opportunities He has put before me, today.  Being obedient here and now will move me into whatever plans he has for me in 1 months, or 6 months or years into the future.  They may be different, or more of the same.  Regardless, if I focus too much on what may or may not lie ahead, I might miss the beautiful movement of his Hand today.   This weekend I saw His hand…and I am in awe at how good, tender, and completely faithful He is to His daughters.

As I reflect on all that happened, I find myself especially surprised by grace. You see, it is the grace that comes from Christ that enables us to stand as a co-laborer with Him, appointed to bear fruit for His Glory (2 Cor 6:1, John 15:16).  We are able to serve out a calling  (no matter how big or small it may seem) because of His Grace.  We do not deserve it, nor are we entitled to it…yet, we are allowed to experience it.

I am not in any way responsible for what happened this weekend, but I am tasting the sweet blessing that comes from the steps of obedience that have been placed before me and the team of people I serve with.  I don’t know if it is the culmination of months of praying and planning, or if it the simple realization that God is living and active today, either way this feeling…this “surprised by grace” place is one I hope to sit in for as long as He’ll let me.

The Agony of Prayer

Posted by Amy W in Devotional, Jesus, Prayer, Uncategorized and tagged with , , , ,

I read this and thought it was really good.  It’s taken from today’s devotional in Henry Blackaby’s Experiencing God Day by Day:

And being in agony, He prayed more earnestly. Then His sweat became like great drops of blood falling down to the ground. (Luke 22:44)

Prayer is not difficult to understand. It is difficult to do. When was the last time your heart so grieved for those you were interceding for that your entire body agonized along with your mind and heart? (Heb. 5:7).

We are a generation that avoids pain at all costs. This is why there are so few intercessors. Most Christians operate on the shallowest levels of prayer, but God wants to take us into the deep levels of intercessory prayer that only a few ever experience. Deep, prolonged intercession is painful. It involves staying before God when everyone else has gone away or sleeps (Luke 22:45). It involves experiencing brokenness with the Father over those who continually rebel against Him. How many of us will experience this kind of fervent intercession?

We long for Pentecost in our lives and in our churches, but there is no Pentecost without Gethsemane and a cross. How do we become mature in our prayer life? By praying. When we do not feel like praying is precisely the time we ought to pray. There are no shortcuts to prayer. There are no books to read, seminars to attend, or inspirational mottoes to memorize that will transform us into intercessors. This comes only by committing ourselves to pray and then doing so.

Why not accept God’s invitation to become an intercessor? Don’t allow yourself to become satisfied with shallow, self-centered praying. Stay with God in prayer until He leads you to pray at the level He wants.

…even He cried to God

Posted by Amy W in Devotional, Jesus, Scripture, Uncategorized and tagged with , , , , ,

“In the days of his flesh, ‘Jesus offered up prayers and supplications, with loud cries and tears, to him who was able to save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverence.  Although he was a son, he learned obedience through what he suffered.  And being made perfect, he became the source of eternal salvation to all who obey him…” (Hebrews 5:7-9)

A few nights ago I cried myself to sleep (I was praying/crying).  On one hand it was a good cry (just in being able to release emotion that was bubbling up inside), but on another hand it was a very serious cry that poured from places in my heart that continue to suffer and hurt and stretch…all because I’m trying to follow Christ each day the best I know how.  I know that compared to what others are going through right now, my “suffering” is probably rather trivial, but it still hurts, and its definitely real and personal…between me and God.   

A few days later I sat in one of my favorite spots and drank hot tea.  I thumbed through my bible to Hebrews and began reading from Chapter 1.  I stumbled upon the verse above when I hit chapter 5.  I sat there reading the lines over and over…amazed.  I know Jesus suffered.  I know he asked God to take the cup.  But for some reason, perhaps its the raw-ness of a few nights prior…it hit me in the most beautiful way…

Jesus did cry out to God.  He asked God to remove the cup he would soon drink from (Matthew 26:38-42; Mark 14:36).  Jesus was troubled and hurt, knowing what was coming (John 12:27-28).  Yet, he continued to move forward into even greater suffering (the tangible experience on the cross).  He continued to move forward as God led him.  Hebrews goes on to tell us that though he was a son, he learned obedience through that suffering.  The outcome was eternal salvation being made available to the world. 

I don’t get it…and I don’t really want to accept the reality of it, but I will.  Suffering is inevitable, no matter how trivial or serious it may be.  The crazy thing is that even through Christ’s example we can see that while our tears and prayers are heard by God, he doesn’t always take the suffering away.  Maybe he does.  BUT maybe we cry out and pray and cry out and we are lead into greater depths of suffering.  it can happen…it happened to Christ.  The part that we don’t always see (especially when our focus in these moments is almost always on ourselves and the greatness of our hurt/suffering) is that there is purpose in that suffering.  Again I don’t get it, but often times we can’t see the reason for anything until time has passed (hindsight is 20/20) and we are able to look back on a bigger picture of our lives.

I don’t get it.  But I know that regardless of what I or you or anyone around us is going through…God is a few words away…Sometimes he’s even closer than that (Romans 8:26).  We will all walk through life experiencing a suffering of some kind.  The question to ask is not when or why, but rather ask yourself how will you respond?  Hopefully we will all continue to move forward, knowing and trusting that God is with us, no matter how hard it gets.  Hopefully our response is not anger and bitterness because of what we face.  Rather that our response would be to look upon the example of Christ, continuing to move obediently and prayerfully through the hard times…praising God the day/moment/year we realize just how incredible and purposeful He was in allowing us to hurt and suffer in the way we are today.    

Maybe one thing to remember is trusting that God is who He says he is and that while it may hurt…God will only work to bring us closer to him and closer to being the people he created us to be…a people bearing and reflecting his image.

Enemies – How do you respond?

Posted by Amy W in Devotional, Jesus, Scripture and tagged with , , , , , , ,

“Do not rejoice when your enemy falls, and let not your heart be glad when he stumbles.” 
(Proverbs 24:17)

How do you respond when you hear of bad things happening to your enemies?  Personally, I’m not quite sure.  First of all, it’s hard for me to consider anyone an enemy.  The term seems so extreme.  There are people I dislike, and certainly people who have done wrong to me, but I’m not sure if I would consider them enemies.  So, replace “enemy” with someone who has wronged you…now ask yourself the question: “how do you respond?” 

This verse reminded me of a response I had this past summer when I learned the outcome of a situation that involved a person who wronged me in a big way.  I had been following this situation and anticipating the outcome and its closure for nearly 3 years when news finally came this summer.  For me, the outcome represented a lot:  the validity of right and wrong and a personal confirmation of God’s justice and protection.  Needless to say I was relieved and excited.  Part of me felt compassion on the person involved, but far more than that I rejoiced.  I told friends who were with me on vacation.  I went outside to praise God.  I was elated.  Tonight, months later, I can’t help but think over my response…especially in light of this verse.  Was it wrong of me?  Could I have responded differently?  I’m still trying to figure it out with this specific situation, but I know there are other instances when I could have and should have responded very differently.  The most prominent example of a right response lies with a story of Jesus himself. 

Jesus – He hung on a cross, placed there for reasons that are rooted in lies, personal vendettas and injustice.  There was no good reason for him to hang on that cross…But he was crucified.  It’s hard to say that Jesus would consider those that hung him enemies, but I’ll revert back to my alternate understanding…they were definitely people who had done wrong to him.    Luke 23 describes the scene well:

“As they led [Jesus] away, they seized Simon from Cyrene, who was on his way in from the country, and put the cross on him and made him carry it behind Jesus…. Two other men, both criminals, were also led out with him to be executed. When they came to the place called the Skull, there they crucified [Jesus], along with the criminals—one on his right, the other on his left. Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.”  And they divided up his clothes by casting lots.  The people stood watching, and the rulers even sneered at him. They said, “He saved others; let him save himself if he is the Christ of God, the Chosen One.”   The soldiers also came up and mocked him. They offered him wine vinegar and said, “If you are the king of the Jews, save yourself.” (verse 26 – 37)

In Isaiah 52:14 we are told that Jesus would be beaten beyond recognition, disfigured and marred from human likeness.  He was beaten and then taken to die on a cross – ridiculed and shouted at…His response to those who did him wrong = prayer.  He asked God to forgive them.  My understanding of the eternal implications of God’s forgiveness is that they would be welcomed into Heaven.  So, if that’s correct, I will also suggest that Jesus was praying for God to forgive those who were killing him – asking that they would join him in Heaven. 

I can’t get my mind around that.  It’s profound and so easily read…yet so difficult to translate into my life and my actions.  Share a heavenly inheritance and spend eternity with a person who has done wrong to me or someone else?  Really, God?  Yes…Really! 

I guess the reality is that we are no more or less deserving of God’s forgiveness…and we are just as susceptible to sin as the next person regardless of whether they are friend or foe.  I can only hope that I would be mature enough to pray for God’s love to embrace and welcome in those whom I, personally, have the most trouble loving. 

Lord, I don’t know how to interpret my responses to those who have done wrong to me or others that I know.  God help me to understand this verse in light of praising and recognizing your justice.  I have a hard time reconciling the two.  And, please God, help me to love those who disappoint me, help me to not rejoice when a foe falls.  If only I could apply the wisdom of this Proverb AND respond in a prayer like Jesus.  Only by your Grace, Father.  Amen.      

Life Lesson #2: Don’t Pass By Signs for Lost Dogs

Posted by Amy W in Christianity, Church Planting, Jesus, Life Lessons From Church Planting, Prayer and tagged with , , , , , , , ,

Last night I had a great picnic on the lawn of St. Johns with a few girlfriends.  We talked about dreams and passions we have.  We reflected on the stress and burdens that seem to be hitting us and everyone around us.  As night set in, we prayed.  A little while later, 3 of us (myself included) were left to set up a “date night” on the docks in Annapolis.  Missing an I-pod we thought it might be possible to convince one of the many random guitar players to go play some romantic music for the couple.  Eventually we came upon this one guy who started to sing about us as we stood in front of him.  Deciding that his music style wasn’t exactly romantic, we walked away.  

Something told me to go back so I did.  I mean maybe he could play something sweet and romantic.  When my friends realized that I had actually entered into a conversation with this guy and probably wouldn’t walk away, they came back over to join me.  Over the course of about 1.5 hrs of conversation we began to learn that the musician was actually very sick.  The person that appeared drunk in person was actually rather philosophical…and extremely talented with the application of metaphor to allude to deep, profound things.  Another thing that came out of our conversation was the reality that this man falls asleep every night not knowing if he will wake up the next day.  Dealing with the advanced stages of Hepatitis, this guy described himself as being long past “his time”.  He shared with us the reality of a divorce, disease, bad decisions, jail and watching people die.  He proudly showed us pictures of his tomato plants and kept pointing our attention to a very simple picture that he had drawn on the sidewalk using chalk.  As the three of us stood there talking to him, the Lord used our gifts in very different but very clear ways.  The Truth of God was shared with him. 

As we got ready to leave, the musician requested that we listen to a song.  He sang about being lost and how we were sent to help him find his way (the fact that he had a compass tattooed on his arm brought even deeper meaning in my mind).  In exchange for letting him smoke another cigarette, one of the girls asked if we could pray with him.  We took turns praying…I went last and led him through an off-the-cuff version of the sinners’ prayer.  I was feeling very heavy and cried over this man who didn’t believe he would be alive in the morning.  As I looked up, tears were streaming down his face and he too began to pray.  We said our goodbyes and encouraged him to come to a dinner that was happening the next evening.  He left us with a very emotional exhortation to share what we shared with him with younger people.  He also told us to pay attention the next time we see a sign for lost dogs…he thought it was very important that we didn’t just walk by, but rather took notice to those signs we see advertising a lost dog.  

As we turned to walk away, I stopped and went back one more time.  This time answering a question he had posed to me very early in our conversation: “what is your best memory?”  I told him that my best memory was the day I realized I wasn’t alone, but that God was with me no matter what pain or hard time I faced.  He looked at me with tears welling up yet again and said, “That was a very good day”.  

I have no idea if this guy woke up this morning.  I have no idea if he is living another day, waiting to die, but I know that God moved last night.  A guy that we might have very easily overlooked (and almost did) carried with him the same heartache, confusion and pain that we (the girls) had spent the evening discussing – the difference was that he was facing the reality of death in a way that we never really consider…and he was facing it without the revelation of Christ.  Where he stands today, I do not know…but I do know that the Truth landed on his heart and broke through…what God did with that man in the time following our interaction is between the guy and God.  

His closing exhortation weighs heavily on my mind today.  “Don’t just pass by signs for lost dogs…stop and pay attention”.  We see these signs all over the place.  Lost dogs.  Lost cats.  Owners frantically seeking out their lost pets…pets that are more like family members than they are mere animals.  How many of those signs do we see?  How many do we stop and actually read?  

It’s the same with people you know.  There are so many people that we pass by every day.  So many are hurting far more than we could ever imagine.  So many are lost and wanting to find their way.  In Luke 15:4-7 Jesus shares this parable: 

“Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Does he not leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.’ I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent” 

We are surrounded by those that are lost and so many of them God is looking to reach.  We are the conduit through which He intends to reach them…if we are willing.  Even still, how many times do we actually take the time to stop and pay attention?  How often do we just walk on by?  

As the man tearfully pleaded, “don’t just walk by signs for lost dogs…stop and take a minute to pay attention”.  Don’t continue to walk through life, absorbed in your own little world.  Take a moment to notice the lost around you…take a moment to pay attention.  Don’t just walk by, stop and listen to their story.  Take a minute to pray with/for them…you’d be amazed at the power of God working in the heart of a “lost child” he’s trying to welcome home.  

“I will give you a new heart and will put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.  And I will put my spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees…you will be my people and I will be your God.” (Ezekiel 36:26-28)